Monday, July 11, 2005

Take These Psalms and Call Me in the Morning

When the sun sinks below the horizon
It is time for rest, sleep, and peace
But the enemy knows my weakness
As I toss, turn, and worry.
Old news of the day, the ends won't meet.
Drowning in a sea of numbers.
Swimming in an ocean of questions, fears, needs,
Though the race of the day is done
And my body crossed the finish line,
My mind still circles the track
Sprinting to where I can't catch my breath.
Desperate in the dark, I found Your word.
Each question found an answer.
Each flickering fear was doused with hope.
I'm in trouble. I cry to God,
desperate for a answer. (120)
Why do You seem more distant in the dark?
Why are my trials so illuminated in the quiet of the night?
He won't let you stumble,
Your guardian God won't fall asleep. (121)
I've been sinking, Lord, the waves are too much,
Tired of kicking my legs to stay afloat.
We're watching and waiting, holding our breath,
awaiting your word of mercy.
Mercy, God, mercy!
We've been kicked around long enough. (123)
I know we've been here before
I know You came through in the past
If God hadn't been for us
when everyone went against us,
We would have been . . .
swept away by the flood of rage,
drowned in the torrent. (124)
I remember what it was like to be rescued
I remember the joy of solid ground
We laughed, we sang,
we couldn't believe our good fortune. (126)
It seems so far off as I continue to flail and sink
Lord, save Us, once again.
And now, God, do it again--
bring rains to our drought-stricken lives
So those who planted their crops in despair
will shout hurrahs at the harvest.
So those who went off with heavy hearts
will come home laughing, with armloads of blessing. (126)
I'm so tired, Lord, tired and angry.
We studied our crafts, we work so hard, and we still can't make it work!
It's useless to rise early and go to bed late,
and work your fingers to the bone.
Don't you know He enjoys giving rest to those He loves? (127)
I have been longing for another child,
When I see an infant, my lips quiver, my eyes cloud, my heart desires
But I need to know Your will.
It doesn't make sense, we can't afford it, it will add financial strain.
Don't you see that children are God's best gift?
the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?
Oh, how blessed are you parents,
With your quivers full of children. (127)
Maybe this is just a coincidence, we just can't afford another child right now,
Will Lauren feel slighted by a new child? Do we need an extra bedroom?
Can we afford the doctor bills? Can I deal with morning sickness again?
You worked hard and deserve all you've got coming,
Enjoy the blessing! Revel in the goodness!
The children around your table
As fresh ad promising as young olive shoots,
Stand in awe of God's Yes.
Oh, how He blesses the one who fears God! (128)
I hear You, Lord, but in the darkness of this night,
I cry out, still drowning in this sea of numbers, bills,
There just isn't enough to make it work!
Help, God--the bottom has fallen out of my life!
Master, hear my cry for help!
I pray to God--my life a prayer--
and wait for what he'll say and do.
My life's on the line before God, my Lord,
waiting and watching till morning,
waiting and watching till morning. (130)
Ok, God, I get it. I'm not alone. I just need to wait.
There are others who have been where I am and survived.
Like a baby content in its mother's arms,
my soul is baby content.
Wait, Israel, for God. Wait with hope.
Hope now, hope always! (131)
But something is still wrong, Lord,
I still can't sleep, my mind is still racing.
"I'm not going to sleep,
not even take time to rest,
Until I find a home for God,
a house for the strong God of Jacob." (132)
Lord, enter in, take my mind, my heart, these fears
I give them to You, the numbers, the bills, the facts.
God stands up for his people,
God holds the hands of his people. (135)
Holy Spirit, replace the fears with Your hope,
the questions with Your answers,
the doubt with Your faith,
My weakness with Your strength.
God remembered us when we were down,
His love never quits.
Rescued us from the trampling boot,
His love never quits,
Takes care of everyone in time of need,
His love never quits. (136)
Then I feel it, peace poured over me, like a warm shower in the winter
Diving into your strength, like a cool pool in the heat of summer.
The moment I called out, You stepped in;
You made my life larger with strength. (138)

My eyelids finally rest as my heart rejoices
My minds crosses the finish line as my soul gives thanks to You.
Then I said to myself, "Oh he even sees me in the dark!
At night I am immersed in the light!
It's a fact, darkness isn't darkness to You;

Night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to You. (139)

Thank You, Lord, for the gift of sleep.
Thank You, Lord, for the gift of another day to serve You.
I will take these Psalms and call You in the morning . . .


Jessica said...

Hey Mrs. Baker! I still read this time to time. I know what it feels like tossing and turning at night worrying about things. I've had sleepless nights because I've worried about my parents finacial situations and just things going on. And if you did have another child, I really dont think your daughter would feel slighted or anything like that. Maybe at first. But in the long run she'll love it... I love having my little brother and step sisters to pick on! ((hehehe))

Anyway... Everything will work out in time!



Baker said...

Thanks for your encouragement, Jessica. I hope you're enjoying your summer!

Jessica said...

My summer has had its ups and downs. Over all it hasn't been horrible. I'm JUST NOW finding a job. Hopefully i'll start here soon!