When Helicopters Whisper

there were trees growing in our gutters
one good rain and the weight could bring them all down
those funny helicopter seeds I used to love as a kid
falling wherever the wind carried them
if left unattended, could grow into a disaster
so with an hour of don't look down
faith in rope and harness precaution
fashioned by the man I love
who watches my every move
holding the ladder and his breath
and I find some moments of peace in my crunchy roof world
under a canopy of the beauty I could blame
and with each bucket full of gunk
You were planting your own helicopter seeds of truth
I can feel You preparing me for this next calling
it's time to
clear out the gunk
don't look down
and trust in the harness
fashioned by You
because helicopters will fall
the rain will come
there's work to be done
and Your watching my every move.

"Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth." 2 Timothy 2:15

"I learned this proverb while I was in the middle East: 'Trust Allah but tether your camel.' It means you should trust God to take care of things, but you should also do what you can to ensure a good outcome ... we are coworkers with God in the situation of our lives. We are invited to pray about all things, but we are also called to do what we can." Valerie Hess, Spiritual Disciplines Devotional

"There is no event so commonplace but that God is present within it, always hiddenly, always leaving you room to recognize him or to not recognize him, but all the more fascinatingly because of all that, all the more compellingly and hauntingly . . . Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is . . . touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace." Frederick Buechner, Now and Then

"Unless I listen to my life, I have no hope of developing my own authentic and unique voice. It is out of the stuff of seemingly ordinary, every day moments I encounter that I hear the whispers of the Holy Spirit . . . and make connections that God can use to breath life and understanding into the lives of others." Nancy Beach, Gifted to Lead

Revisionzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I went jogging and this buzzing mutant bee kept circling me
I could not lose this guy for at least a mile
and he was driving me insane, head-butting my shoulder and hissing in my ear,
I just wanted to chill with You in the march on the pavement
but we kept getting interrupted by his incessant buzzing
finally I just sprinted as fast as I could, waved my arms like an idiot
and lost him. Ha!
and that's when You started doing all the talking. . .

compliments give me a gag reflex
I remember a time when I was little
I would get a hand on my chubby cheek
a flick of my pigtail or a squeeze of my plump fingers
along with a piece of Bubble Yum bubble gum and grinning flattery,
perfumed and cologned with scent of Sunday mornings
and I would smile and enjoy them all.
Now it's more of a mona lisa smile
formed from years of acting training
like those rushed curtain calls of nausia
where I just wanted to hide in the green room
I don't know who wrote that part of the story
but I'm beginning to understand it wasn't You
I guess I always pictured the black and white simplicity
of the ying and yang of me
You get credit for all the light and goodness
I get guilt for all the dark and shadows
Everyone's clear on the who and what
and I rest in my bad-news-is-better-than-no-news
world of answered questions even if the answers are lies
in the silky comfort of better-than-good-it's-done complacency
But You're slowly teaching me to see in color
so I can answer that frightening call
that word that seems beyond little me
who still feels like that little pigtailed girl
looking up at everyone else
and staying safe by mommy's purse and daddy's knees
Can she really pull this off?
But here we are again,

me surprised by your love,
and You, knudging me, then pushing me
as I drag my fearful heels and leave a trail of mud
Because only You could write this chapter

And I think I know now
I finally know
that it's time to start walking tall,

even if it means sprinting, waving my arms like an idiot

and making a fool of myself

so I can lose that stupid bee

and start being the You in me.


"For a long time, I thought humility meant continually discounting one's gifts, making sure to attribute everything to God or walking through life with a low opinion of oneself. However, this is not a biblical picture of humility. Humility is essentially seeing oneself with sober eyes, and not being so self-absorbed that we overlook the role of the sovereign Lord as well as the incredible worth and contributions of others . . . Many women leaders find themselves apologizing for their passion and goals, coming across as uncertain and tentative in their decision making . . . we must stop apologizing for our gifts and opportunities! We are not taking up too much room if we are seeking to fufill a God-ordained calling--a calling which may just require us to get over ourselves, take a deep breath and simply start leading . . . Being true to how God made us makes leadership less of a burden and more of a natural outpouring of how we function best . . . I had to learn what it meant to be fully myself, comfortable in my own skin, and willing to express myself authentically as a woman of faith . . . I urge you to listen to the quiet voice of the Spirit and allow our God to help you design your own path . . . No one can write the script for you--your story will be entirely your own." Nancy Beach, Gifted to Lead

"I wanna feel something sweeter than this
Cover me in leaves and roll me over again
I've been everybody else and now I want to be
something closer to myself."
Kendall Payne "Closer to Myself" song

"But me he caught—reached all the way from sky to sea;

he pulled me out Of that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos,

the void in which I was drowning.

They hit me when I was down, but God stuck by me.

He stood me up on a wide-open field;

I stood there saved—surprised to be loved!

God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him.

When I got my act together, he gave me a fresh start.

Now I'm alert to God's ways; I don't take God for granted.

Every day I review the ways he works; I try not to miss a trick.

I feel put back together, and I'm watching my step.

God rewrote the text of my life

when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes."

Psalm 18:16-24 (Msg)

"Dress down your pretty faith. Give me something real.
Leave out the thee and thou and speak to me now.
Speak to my pain and confusion.
Speak through my fears and my pride.
Speak to the part of me that knows I'm something deep down inside.
I know that I am not perfect, but compare me to most,
In a world of hurt and a world of anger I think I'm holding my own.
And I know that you said there is more to life.
And I know I am not satisfied.
But there are mornings I wake up and I'm just thankful to be alive.
I've known now, for quite a while, that I am not whole.
I've remembered the body and the mind,
But disected my soul.
Now something inside is awakening,
Like a dream I once had and forgot.
And it's something I'm scared of
And something I don't want to stop.
And I woke up this morning and realized that Jesus is not a portait.
Where stained glass windows or hymns or the tradition that surrounds us.
And I thought it would be hard to believe in
But it's not hard at all.
To believe I've sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God.
And He's not asking me to change in my joy for martyrdom
He's asking to take my place.
To stand in the gap that I have formed
With His real, and His sweet, and His real amazing grace.
And it's not just a sign or a sacrament.
It's not just a metaphor for love.
The blood is real and it's not just a symbol of your faith.
So leave out the thee and thou and speak now."

Sara Groves, "Awakening" song

Fighting Gravity

"I see the pen and the lips. Artists should know how to use them well. Empty speech is vain repetition. It's time to ask ourselves if we draw away from the truth of God's word by the laziness of our own. God's word itself is a work of art." Dr. Richard Allen Farmer

i talk too much,

so for three days i just listened

and learned the secrets to defying gravity

as You called me and a crowd of artists to

arise

P.S. Thanks for the awesome guys I get to work with who are teaching me what growing up with brothers was really supposed to be like

Wednesday, Session One: Nancy Beach

"We are called to be faithful, not to produce results.

True worship should always result in a fresh surrender to God.

We need to stay so attuned to the holy spirit that we come away with a new song. We aren't creating enough new songs these days.
Don't paint a partial picture of who God is. Are you telling the whole story?

God loves the church more than we do, and he wants his bride to be beautiful."

Nancy Beach

"If we are not careful, you and I will begin to do ministry more and more out of memory than imagination." Mark Batterson

Session Two: Cirque Du Soleil, Giles Ste-Croix

"Sometimes it's our job is to slow you down and sometimes to put a fire under your butt, so be prepared.
It's a very fragile process that depends on people working together . . . also a very organic process, a maelstrom of ideas. After 25 years, we kind of know what doesn't work, but it's fun to discover what does.

Fighting gravity is a form of art." Giles Ste-Croix

Session Three: Brian McLaren

"The gospel just comes bubbling up when good art happens." Robbie Seay

"Where you live should not determine whether you live." Bono

"Religious leaders love to use religion to legitimize the status quo. The church was not meant to steal people away from the world to play our own intramural sports like some game of theological football. I line up my verses. You line up yours. We say 'hut!' and watch to see who wins. We need to be careful not to let our theology be held captive to any one's ideology."

Brian McLaren

"We vote every single day by how we use our wallets." Trade as One and Paralta reps.

"I don't think we'll make poverty history until we make poverty personal . . . so we seek ways to stir human emotion that leads to inconvenient thought that leads to stirring action. You've all made the church better because of your art. Maybe it's time for the church to realize its responsibility for a better world because of your church."

Brian McLaren

Thursday: Theatre Breakouts

"In drama, there's more than one right answer, so just try the next one."

Rod Armentrout

"We're not here to get a message across, it's to connect to each other so the audience connects to Christ."

Mark Demmel

Friday: Session One: Richard Allen Farmer

"I've been everybody else but now I want to be something closer to myself."

Kendall Payne

"I've never had to pray for clarity, what I pray for is trust." Mother Theresa

"What I love about us artists is our insatiable curiosity. We won't take 'yes' for an answer. If curiosity is a disease, I'm not interested in being cured. If you look inside the heads of artists, you'll find questions that hang like tapestries.

Welcome the friction. Pair odd bedfellows until they work. Friction is not merely tolerated; it's encouraged. It's invited to take off its shoes and sit a spell.

We are not religious! It's better than that! We are lovers of God in Christ!"

Richard Allen Farmer

Friday: Final Session: Francis Chan
"It's sin if we don't give God something excellent by the end of the day.

After every service I have to ask myself was it really God showing up or just manipulation? I don't want people to walk away in awe of me; they need to be in awe of Him. I'm bored with what I know I can do. Do you think everyone walked away from Pentecost saying 'Man, that John guy is awesome!' I'm not up here by myself right now. Don't you want people to leave your church and say 'there's no way that was them!'?
Do you ever see butterflies rolling around in the mud like their caterpillar days? Me either, because they don't. You're a different person now because of God's holy spirit living inside you. Don't be a butterfly crawling in the mud."

"I waited and waited and waited for God.
At last he looked; finally he listened.
He lifted me out of the ditch,
pulled me from deep mud.
He stood me up on a solid rock
to make sure I wouldn't slip.
He taught me how to sing the latest God-song,
a praise-song to our God . . .
So I answered, "I'm coming.
I read in your letter what you wrote about me,
And I'm coming to the party you're throwing for me.
That's when God's Word entered my life,
became part of my very being.
I've preached you to the whole congregation,
I've kept back nothing, God—you know that.
I didn't keep the news of your ways a secret, didn't keep it to myself.
I told it all, how dependable you are, how thorough.
I didn't hold back pieces of love and truth
For myself alone. I told it all,
let the congregation know the whole story."

Psalm 40: 1-2, 7-10 (Msg)

Nike Theology

you're a great coach
three months of
leaning on You for will power
hearing you cheer me on
as the numbers on the scale went down
always pushing me to
keep moving even when it hurts
stop complaining
and just do it
rewarding me with smaller sizes
longer gazes from my husband
more energy to chase my little girl
and twenty five pounds less in three months
But now on to the bigger challenge
as you coach me
and a great group of women
in the training, toning and strengthening
of our souls
as we lean on You for will power
hear you cheer us and push us to
keep moving even when it hurts
stop complaining
and just do it


"[Spiritual] disciplines are not meant to be one more thing for us to fail at in our relationship with God. They are meant to help us untie knots of bondage and break old, bad habits that make life more difficult. The disciplines are meant to breathe life into the dead places of our souls." Valerie Hess, Spiritual Disciplines Devotional

"We all live in this tension between here's who I am and there's who I want to be . . . God sees us before we see ourselves . . . This isn't just about us. It's about what God wants to do with us." D.C. Curry, "Designing a Transformation" sermon 5/22/08

'And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." 2 Corinthians 3:18

"Some people regard discipline as a chore. For me, it is a kind of order that sets me free to fly." Julie Andrews

First of Many

Thank You for this night
this school that has woven Your word
into her heart
Thank You for
her first graduation
her first award
her first friends
and the many to come
May it all come a little too slow . . .


"what we have heard and known,
what our fathers have told us.
We will not hide them from their children;
we will tell the next generation
the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD,
his power, and the wonders he has done." Psalm 78: 3-4

Thin Places

"The ancient Celtics believed in what they called 'thin places.' These are the places where the natural and the supernatural worlds come together at their narrowest, with only a thin veil between them. When you're in a thin place you're able to catch a glimpse of God and it becomes easier to sense his presence . . . God knows it's difficult for us to remember that he's with us, so he does all kinds of things to capture our attention. We need to pay attention and look for those flickers of God in unexpected places."
Vince Antonucci, I Became a Christian and All I Got was this Lousy T-shirt

two weeks of thin places
leave me gaping with a grin
like a present when it isn't my birthday or Christmas. . .

when dog-sitting for a weekend
brought slobbery grins and a funny authoritative voice
that turns a five year old into a worthy master
all the while I was dreading the lip-quivering good-byes
that didn't even cross her mind until the moment they drove away
with his ears flapping a careless good-bye
As I watched her bottom lip jut out and her chest begin to bounce
I walked into that thin place where
there was a whisper reminder
that everything is on loan from You
we can dread the time to give it back
or choose to embrace it while it lasts

a weekend of celebrating volunteers
left a charlie horse in my face from grinning
still amazed I get to have fun and call it a job
still in awe of those I get to serve with
still gaping at how You place us all like chess pieces
and there it was, another thin place
where I saw You in the faces around me
learning how to love You even more
by watching them love each other

a holiday weekend brought a party next door
I caught my little girl watching from afar
That extrovert ache pulling her
into a world where she wasn't invited
a property line she couldn't cross
and the laughter of the children
calling to her like a siren
she would walk along the yard lines
marked only by occasional trees
but even with no fences and at least fifty sets of eyes
no one waved or winked, no one even noticed
and I was sad
but not just for her
the summer breeze brought another thin place
where I wondered how many times
We, the Church, can miss chances to invite people to You
because we're too busy throwing our own parties




warm sunshine brought out the sprinklers, bathing suits, and fishing poles
every catch was a celebration
but the pursuit was the real joy
watching our bobbers for our next scaly friend to admire
but I had trouble keeping my eyes on mine
because I was seeing You in my husband
in his zone of joy in nature
I've always loved his eyes
this grayish blue that reminds me
of an ethereal portal in some sci-fi blockbuster
or maybe the ocean waves without the cliche
I've seen them squint as deadlines and bills
tighten like a vice around his head and no pill seems to shake it
but it was only the reflection of the sun on the water
and the smile he couldn't hide behind his Mountain Dew chugs
Who knew dirty hands that smelled like earthworms could be so attractive?
But I chose to behave since his mother was visiting . . . : )
I felt the hook as you reeled me into another thin place
grateful to sit beside him on the dock in his moment of peace

Her last day of preschool
one big party for her and her friends
I dropper her off a little sleepy, shiney and new
and picked up a dusty and dirty crazy kid
renewed by a day of playing in the dirt with friends
a fast forward moment for me
she's growing up too fast
and I just have to marvel
every time I turn around she's trying something new
a visit to the playground where she set a goal to master the monkey bars
pacing herself, adding one more to each try
I could see the pain, the fatigue, and the tenacity
as I urged her to take a break and try again later
but she would not stop until she got to ten
her grin and furrowed brow were the cue to step back
and her hot pink blisters were the cue to step back in
and I knew You had big plans for her
then she'll say and mean these things that are just so wise
and she hasn't even started kindergarten!
she's moving a little closer to a companion every day
taking walks beside me, noticing everything and asking me
a million questions because she trusts in my answers
and we walk in another thin place holding hands
and I long for You to be able to say
the exact same things about me
to be able to look down at me
the way I look at her
I would be growing up so fast
that You would just have to marvel
so for now I'll just keep adding another monkey bar,
finding friends who aren't afraid of the dirt, walking with You,
and asking a million questions
trusting and listening for Your answers in the
thin places

"My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God? . . .
By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life." Psalm 42: 2-8

Poker with Paul

I played Poker with Paul today

an argument of truth held concealed

in the hands we were dealt

and the thorns in our sides

Your word morphed into a pop-up book

a house of cards that will never fall

as I try to prepare for a weekend service

that reaches straight into my gushy gut

of insecurities

to face some secret uncertainties

just between me and You

Paul is almost as neurotic as me

so I peek into his love notes

that sound a little more like diary entries

All of us just kickin' back

and laying all the cards on the table

You have the best poker face

not the smug, cocky, I'm-gonna-get-you kind

just that look of

peace

that confidence I wish I could find,

less like poker

and more like Go Fish old school style

a simple card exchange from Your hand to mine
and suddenly I'd be a winner

and You just keep smiling that Poker face

pointing

at Paul and his ramblings

and waiting

until it sinks in

it's not about winning and losing at all

just a conversation with the guys
until it's time to stand up

"Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold." 2 Corinthians 3:12

"Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we're at home in the body we are away from the Lord. We live by faith, not by sight. We are confident." 2 Corinthians 5:6-8

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10

"So I will very gladly spend for you everything I have and expend myself as well." 2 Corinthians 12: 15

"He is not weak in dealing with you, but is powerful among you. For to be sure, he was crucified in weakness, yet he lives by God's power. Likewise, we are weak in him, yet by God's power we will live with him to serve you." 2 Corinthians 13: 3-4

"I dont know about you but when I asked God for a sign and there was a sign, I thought maybe it's a sign . . . . Jesus didn't say to his disciples, 'come and sit with me'. He said 'Come and follow me." Have you ever tried to follow someone sitting down? It's uncomfortable, and you get a rash!" Mark Beeson, "Town Hall Meeting" Sermon 5/12/2008

Pas de Quatre

You met me in a week of dance routines
paper chain meanings in each of the scenes
a dance with daddy in the afternoon sun
Your Abba love lessons have just begun
melting preschool worries of fire alarms
as her little eyes close, safe in his arms
I long for her confidence to be in You
above firing line peer reviews
but in this moment she rests in daddy's love
feet on feet like hand in glove
as You gently remind me to let You lead
with a stone-rolling promise guaranteed
my eyes are shrouded and drip with a blink
knowing the wedding dance is closer than we think
then off to her recital where she glows with pride
giggling with friends that dance by her side
"we're all in this together" was the song of choice
And behind the camera, I can clearly hear Your voice
Lauren makes friends in thirteen seconds
but wall flowers never have to feel rejection
it's safer behind the camera or in a character's skin
yet much like a band-aid or safety pin
the next day she got to meet her first bride
her first wedding and her mouth gaped wide
at the pink and white beauty of true romance
then the music began and she couldn't help but dance
on the dancing floor with the bouncing lights
then outside with bubbles at night
zero inhibitions when your five years old
another whisper from You begins to unfold
it was just her and the music with not a care in the world
and I met You in the silliness of my little girl
for all I really want is to bring glory to You
even if it means some silly moves too
You nudge me again when her new friend stopped by
a warning against the fate of William Bligh
as their teeter totter play of give and take
calls me beyond my wallflower state
hand in hand they dance and run
when you have a friend, it's just more fun
morning dawns and the service begins
another dance that makes me grin
yet another beckon to stretch me more
thank you for my family dance of four
Pas de Quatre

"We've all danced the dance. The dance of the world is "power up" and step on whoever's toes you need to to get ahead. But Jesus came with a new dance. There's a whole new song playing. There's a whole new dance." Mark Beeson, "Space Invaders" sermon May 10-11


"I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt. Again you will take up your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful." Jeremiah 31:4

Popcorn Parables

popcorn was always a family favorite

tiny kernals under pressure

blooming to puffy white deliciousness

microwave beat-boxing

to the sweet redolence that fills the room

or better yet on the stovetop

with mom's special oil and that rough, blackened pot

a few minor blazes that looked like little orange tongues

sharing my craving for sweet and salty tastiness

watching the lid rise as it overflows with yummy white ambrosia

this weekend was the women's retreat

three days of delicious popcorn truths began with a gentle reminder

"God has an appointment with you this weekend.God knows where you are and what you need. The divine finger of God will make its way through the crowd and touch your heart." Mark Beeson

-pop-

and I lean in to meet You

scared of the one kernal that's been popping up for a few weeks

a challenge that I'm afraid is just beyond me

and might just be my neurotic, bee-buzzing brain

a word that just doesn't seem to fit me or my capabilities

"There's an interesting tension between the sovereign will of God and your will." MB

-pop-

I'm always looking for the next class to take

the next book to read, the next calling

the next curve of the pen as you design who I'm meant to be in You

but this one is different, and the voices scream

I'm just not worthy, I'm just not good enough

"What would it be like to have so much confidence in God and vision for what God wants us to be that we would stay the course no matter what trials life throws at us? The question is not how do I get out of this trouble, it's who do I want to be in this trouble? " MB

-pop-

but it just doesn't make sense

there's not enough time, money, logistics

there are those days

just enough energy to keep all the balls in the air

and everyone's smiles on their faces

and You might want me to add something new?

"You don't see an apple tree straining and screaming 'Apples! Apples! Got to make some apples!' Stop focusing on the fruit and start focusing on the nourishment and nutrients of Christ."MB

-pop,pop-

it just feels like adding another page to the list

that list that keeps everyone cared for and loved

and gives me a grade at the end of the course

"You don't need to check a list to see if you're a success as a wife and mother and woman of God. The lists were torn at Calvary. Lists are a way of whipping yourself for not being who you think you should be. You don't need to try to prove to God that He made the right decision to sacrifice His son for You. He knows. You have two paths. You can choose to stay performance-oriented or you can choose to be loved. Burn your list." Dr. Bob Laurent

-pop,pop,pop-

living in "should-land" can be exhausting

and for a moment

I feel a little lighter

shoulders rising with the corners of my mouth

and even my chin lifts a little

then I remind myself who I really am

still feeling like an 8th grader with the wrong outfit on

taking the measuring tape out of the back of my mind

forcing my chin to submission to stare at my hands

"God loves you more when you show who you really are. God looks for his kids in the reject bins. Don't stumble over his outrageous love. Maybe you've been living so long in winter, you forgot God's calling you to the springtime." DB

-POP-

How do You do that?

speak so clearly it can't be coincidence

answering the riddles of my heart before I can even voice them

but that one word keeps popping up among the kernals

and it just doesn't fit mousy, unheroic, simple me

who never really seems to fit anywhere but You

"God calls us to a life of adventure, not a dusty tour." Mark Waltz

-pop-

I've always wanted to be zippered up to You

as close as I can, along for the ride

but this . . .

there are others so much more worthy

I just have so little to offer

"It is the smallest part of me that wants to find a way to you . . . could it be that you bend down low to hear a voice so weak? Will you take the smallest part and make it large? Will you take the smallest step and carry me far? The best intentions reside in a corner of my soul. Now I need some help in conquering the whole." Jason Miller, "The Smallest Part"

-pop-

maybe humility has a new definition

with You as the context

maybe it isn't a child's game with clasped hands

eyelashes batting away the compliments

begging to change the subject back to You

maybe it's really about becoming a slave to You

in order to taste the real freedom

the confidence of a megaphone

to shout You from the rooftops

so others can find the same sweet and salty deliciousness

but there's that word again

that frightening Everest word that makes no sense

"Like Heather says, change is like going up a down escalator. But what would it be like to have peace despite the circumstance? After a mountaintop experience like this, you will find a valley if you try to do it on your own. The methods of this world are our will. We have to surrender to God's will. He has an appointment with you every day." Kathy Guy

-pop, pop-

I love our daily appointments

especially lately

soaking in the simplicity of pen pal Paul

his honesty and lack of perfection

like an embossed invitation to a party I've already been to

"You'll remember, friends, that when I first came to you to let you in on God's master stroke, I didn't try to impress you with polished speeches and the latest philosophy. I deliberately kept it plain and simple: first Jesus and who he is; then Jesus and what he did—Jesus crucified.
I was unsure of how to go about this, and felt totally inadequate—I was scared to death, if you want the truth of it—and so nothing I said could have impressed you or anyone else. But the Message came through anyway. God's Spirit and God's power did it, which made it clear that your life of faith is a response to God's power, not to some fancy mental or emotional footwork by me or anyone else." I Corinthians 2: 1-5

I love how You answer me when I don't want You to

I love how Your smarter than me

I love how You flip a lightswitch in the dark places

even when I still keep my eyes closed

I love how You stretch me out of my cotton complacency

into itchy, chaffing truths that keep me squirming

enough to move me forward

"No one escapes the storms. Jesus offers one solution. Hear the words of the book and put them into practice." Rob Wegner, "Call of Duty" sermon May 3-4, 2008

-pop-

so when the routine returns like regimented calendar squares

I'll just keep diving in the popcorn kernals

listening, watching, chasing the next explosion of truth

to understand why that scary one keeps popping up

and more importantly to stay in the heat

trusting in the pops to come

-pop-pop-pop-

Jogging Partners

No eloquent poems today.
Just a few words of thanks
for a weekend of friends coming together
to have some fun with an old video game
jogging together through teetering curtains and broken cardboard
all so we could invite some new friends to meet You
in childhood memories of sitting cross-legged
in their living rooms, floppy socks and all
an invitation take steps away from their own teetering brokenness
and land safely in a game with the ultimate expert
And thank You for a new jogging partner
who just didn't want mommy to have to jog alone

"Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!" Eccl 4:9-10


"When I have a problem that just too big for me, I think I should call some friends. Because together we can do what I can't do by myself. Everything is just better with a friend alongside." Mark Beeson, Mario Party sermon April 26-27, 2008

Shots in the Arm

I scheduled Lauren's kindergarten immunizations
three shots in the arm, 1-2-3
a complex formula, tailor-made by men in lab coats
who just want to keep her safe so she can run and play
pain with a purpose she can't see to believe
and I take in the moment of a metaphor
One week, two messages, a scary moment, more bad news,
scripture tailor-made just to keep me safe so I can run and play
countless whispers from You spurring me on
as the radio sings "so sweetly broken, holy surrender"
and all I can do is smile
at how you find ways to speak to me
in this noisy, pain-filled,
crazy, beautiful world
where I can be sweetly broken
and still complete the race
even if I cross the finish line
on my knees
I know You'll be waiting
to help me up again

"At the cross You beckon me,
draw me gently to my knees
and I am lost for words
so lost in love
I'm sweetly broken
Holy surrender . . . " Jeremy Riddle, Sweety Broken song

"The question is not whether or not your time in prison will come, but rather 'Will I do my jail time in a way that is purposeful or purposeless?'" Rob Wegner, "Viral Attitudes" sermon 4/19-20/08


"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (NIV)

"God's desire is not always to make you happier, it's to make you holier . . . Come to the one who loves you most and loves you best . . . many of you are almost ready to give up because of the crisis that come your way that have almost nothing to do with your own actions . . . gardening, like life, is an act of faith . . . you put all you can into it, knowing the storms might come . . . all I can say tonight is don't give up. Never give up. The last page of the story hasn't been written." Dr. Bob Laurent, "Never Give Up" sermon 4/24/08

"Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!" Hebrews 12:1-3 (Msg)

Renaissance Girl

a jam packed day and I met You in the pause button
as I marveled at what her future might hold
the many sides of her all in 12 hours
a princess party where she begged for curls like Lucy Pevensie
and I smiled at the beauty infused from a Lion's roar
the delicate tea cups to complement her dimples
and princess karaoke where she turned off the music
to sing her own version of "Memory"
and what a memory it was
then on to a football game with daddy
back to ball cap, t-shirt and jeans
to cheer for Daddy's favorite team
and remind Daddy that rain only makes things more fun
back home and barefoot to explore her own agenda
beyond princess parties with mom
and football games with dad
to swirl the minnows from the edge of the dock
and marvel at Your God-made river playground
and I can't help dream of all You have for her
when bedtime prayers become less like Disney wishes
and more like real conversations
when beauty becomes more about who she in You
than pink glitter and barbie accessories
when prince charming transforms from a man on a horse
to a man on the cross
when daddy's love of the game
becomes a metaphor for her ultimate coach and playbook
when backyard exploration only brings glory to the maker
For now, I will simply thank You
for this jack of all trades
renaissance girl
who might just grow into a proverbs woman

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30

Backyard Banquet

my favorite spot for diving in Your word

returned with the spring like a soldier from war

slowly unfolding like the cherry tree blossoms by the porch

or the sun setting on the water, still leaving a trail of warmth

story after story of men risking their lives

all to tell the good news I get to read in the hammock

knit together like Your story to stretch and catch me in all the right places

to tell of the man I get to chat with under a canopy of sighing buds

once the veil was torn in two

to reassure of the Holy Spirit I can feel in the breeze

and read between the lines

in this time of backyard banquet peace

and it's just so . . .

deliciously You

"Then the church throughout Judea, Galilee and Samaria enjoyed a time of peace. It was strengthened; and encouraged by the Holy Spirit, it grew in numbers, living in the fear of the Lord." Acts 9:31

"If we are not careful, we can miss out on the amazing banquet God has set before us. If we settle for a weekly snack at church and never dig into God's word between Sundays, it costs us more than we realize. We need to get past all of our excuses and fears, belly up to the table, and partake of the good things God has set before us." Kevin G. Harney, Seismic Shifts

LOL

when you're a child

laughter is like breathing

but if you're not careful

you can grow up too fast

on the growth chart of life's challenges

for a moment there, I lost my laugh

in the teeter totter of circumstance

like a hammock in the wind of momentum

but all it took was a reminder

of You from You

a reminder of the joy I had all along

And I just had to let it all go

let it all out

and laugh out loud

so loud it might be contagious

lol

"We are not called to a deprived life. We are the chosen people, a royal preisthood!" Mark Beeson, "Viral Priorities" sermon April 12-13, 2008

"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. " 1 Peter 2 :9-10

"I consider that our present suffereings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Romans 8:18

"Joy is a choice! Joy is a natural disposition of God's heart, and he wants us to be surprised by joy every day of our lives. No matter what we face, if we make the right choices and follow God with our whole hearts, we can experience more joy than we ever imagined . . . The love of God pours of over our lives in such surplus that it cascades into the lives of others . . . Joy is based on a life-changing, hope-giving relationship with Jesus, not on the circumstances we face. Our situation might change from day to day, but Jesus is always present, loving, and faithful . . . People should be drawn to congregations because of the sheer overflow of love, celebration, and joy that cascades into the community. The church should be famous, even notorious, for the excessive and extravagant joy experienced everytime they gather." Kevin G. Harney, Seismic Shifts

Bounce, Thunk

"Life is mostly froth and bubbles,
Only two things stand like stone,
Kindness in another's troubles,
Courage in your own." -Madame Chiang Kai-sheck




-bounce-
I've wasted a lot of time in froth and bubbles
floating and bouncing at the mercy of circumstance
Pollyanna wins where naivety grins
and optimism and ignorance are playmates
logic reasons to blame Your gift of free will
7 habits whispering proactive and circles of control
like the fragile irridescent sphere I've allowed myself to become
as a doormat lies to welcome the enemy
and I float on, wincing at each bounce,
masking the fear by merrily whistling a mustard seed tune of
what goes down must come up
but the attack is real
the shadows aren't just silhouettes
the lion waits, licking his lips
at the bank statement and ten years of cliff-hanging
and all it would take is a flick of a claw
a playful wave of his paw
so today I'm done with bubbles and froth
turn me to stone
Your rock of faith to be used in a sling shot
or placed in a wall to keep out the lion
or cage him in
because You didn't write history in bubbles
and I can't raise a family in froth
You said "It is finished"
so I'll stop daydreaming some dark sequel
where the villain returns
and celebrate the victory
of this bubble turned stone.
-thunk-






"You, un-aided, are not strong enough to take on the enemy . . . Maybe our Roman Catholic brothers and sisters got something we need to be more aware of, and that's what exorcism is all about. The Catholic church has kept that in front of our faces for decades, and I'm glad they have because one of the most important things Jesus can do in your life is to exorcise the enemy. That' what he came to do. What about in your home? What about in your life? . . . Are you trying to lead a supernatural life without the super? . . . You stand for God? You WILL be persecuted. . . There's an old Japanese proverb that says 'The Nail that sticks out gets hammered the hardest' . . . . You're going to stick out. You're a peculiar person . . . When you pray and nothing happens, before long, you start playing with these temptations . . . uncertainty: maybe it isn't God's will . . . condemnation: probably I don't deserve to be answered . . . haste: I've waited long enough, I guess God just wants me to be the answer . . . we are often so bad at waiting because waiting takes courage . . . But the best definition of courage is Love coming to the rescue." Dr. Bob Laurent, "A People of Courage" Sermon, April 10, 2008

"The time for judging this world has come, when Satan, the ruler of this world, will be cast out." Jesus, John 12:31 (NLV)



"So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he'll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet." James 4:7-10 (Msg)

"Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:6-9 (NIV)

"No one ever drifts to greatness. Want to be a great musician? Methodical practice is required. Do you long for athletic prowess? You must train, and train methodically. Building a great marriage, a great family, a great friendship or a great career requires the ongoing discipline of methodical effort. Wesley had it right; the methodical practice of scriptural holiness is the way to maturity." Mark Beeson, "On the Record . . . " Post

"Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You're not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It's the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won't last forever. It won't be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does." 1 Peter 5:8-9 (Msg)

Pop Goes The Calling

I remember sitting through a workshop entirely in Spanish
Red-faced, shaking in my cracked, plastic seat
praying the leader would never ask me a question
my classmates were smiling and nodding
and laughing at jokes I didn't understand
I grasped at any word I could find
like a pinata party where I'm diving for candy
but the only one in slow motion
Trabajo, doesn't that mean work?
llamo means name, right?
my head spinning like the child with the bat
Teaching in rural Texas meant students new to this country
and it's foreign tongue that didn't roll like their espanol
during my well-organized lessons, their faces would grimace
like when I tried their mama's tamales
and they chuckled at my watery eyes as I fanned my face
or they'd opt for daydreaming out the windows
and I didn't blame them
I loved them, dreamed of their statistically unlikely graduations
and knew the state test was coming
Thank You for that little yellow bat
that missed the pinata and smacked me in the forehead
their problem was a maestra with a pencil in her hair
and a passion without a clue
so I dove into their culture to meet them halfway
a hand-made curriculum with some unlikely materials
so unlikely they just might be effective
the other teachers raised their eyebrows
the principal was concerned
it was awkward, disconcerting, and gauche
like when they tried to teach me their latin steps
and my Caucasion hips would not cooperate
but with each stilted mambo
we began to connect, literature and language came alive
crashing into stories from their homes
like the colorful blankets woven by their abuelas
stitch by stitch
and the pattern of the tapestry reminded me of You
their test scores astounded the school, the state,
even their maestra who had finally found
a clue behind her grin
all this was just a glimpse of what You had in mind
just a pre-test for the real exam
of leveraging culture to bring people to You
Thank You for bringing me here
to a new culture
a new leader
a new calling
and a new lesson to prepare
Your kingdom curriculum
with some unlikely materials
so unlikely
they just might be effective

"We don't want to build an inspiration station where people come week after week, sit, soak, and leave being no different from when they walked in. The Bible tells us that this is like a person who looks in a mirror and does nothing about what they see. So what is this all about? Why leverage the culture? . . . So that all of these people, and thousands others just like them begin to take a step toward Jesus . . . Seeing God in culture is no different than seeing God in nature. In either instance, you can rush right through going from here to there and forget to pay attention to the beauty and truth that is all around." Tim Stevens, Pop Goes the Church

2 Peter 1:12 "Because the stakes are so high, even though you're up-to-date on all this truth and practice it inside and out, I'm not going to let up for a minute in calling you to attention before it. This is the post to which I've been assigned—keeping you alert with frequent reminders—and I'm sticking to it as long as I live."

The Presents of a Sore Throat

for five days it hurt to talk

carrying two golf balls in my neck

swallowing felt like fire

so I had to ration my words

and even through the cold chills

under seven blankets

and the lead bubble headaches

growing behind the eyes

that transfromed my simple walk

into slippery stumbling on the deck of a stormy ship

in the middle of the fire, the silence,

the cold, and the pounding thunder

Lauren moved the layers of fleece

to put her little hand on my head

and begin her own viral conversation . . .

"Dear Lord, Please help my mommy get better.

I need her to get better so she can play with me.

She's my favorite mommy in the whole world and a lot of fun.

You just have to make her better and get rid of her aches so we can play. Amen."

I peeked out through the smiling tears

uncovering more than my face

and discovering gifts from You

a child that knows it's as simple as a conversation with You

a cause to celebrate health and life from You

but namely a forced lesson

to hold my tongue

and learn to listen

"Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise." Proverbs 17:28

"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." James 1:19

"Many people are an “ouch!” looking for a hurt. If you cry “ouch,” the hurt will show up. If you complain, you’ll receive more to complain about. It’s the Law of Attraction in action. As you complete these stages, as you leave complaining behind, as you are no longer an “ouch” looking for a hurt, your life will unfold for you like a beautiful spring flower." Will Bowen, A Complaint Free World (Buy a bracelet)

"Controlled words are a measure of our maturity . . . the tongue is small but has huge impact . . . learn how to listen . . . we increase whatever we praise." Dr. Bob Laurent, "Viral Conversations" sermon April 5-6, 2008

Just a Pinch

it's been a tough week
like salt in the wound
or sticky tears that creep between the lips
but I can still feel You near
still calling me to more than this pain
that is really

just a pinch
compared to that day on the hill
still calling me to be the salt of the earth
bringing out the best flavor in others
and getting lost in You
I know You will warp this pain
into some kind of salty goodness
so sprinkle me however You wish

just a pinch
so I can somehow lessen the pain of others

standing overwhelmed at the edge of an ocean

afraid to dip their toes in the salty waves

of the depths of You
Use me as I dive in and beckon them to join me

with a little salty hope
even if it is
just a pinch


"Salt does not exist for it's own sake. Salt is to lose itself in something more glorious than itself. Don't underestimate the power of the salt, the power of what God can do with small interventions. God puts his 'super' on our 'natural' and something supernatural happens."Rob Wegner Viral Interventions sermon March 29-20, 2008

"You are the salt of the earth." Jesus, Matthew 5:13

Table Settings for the Birds

With a list of excuses to worry today

swarming in my fettered mind

I'm choosing to take a deep breath

take in some truth like the gold finches

enjoying their breakfast on the porch

and trust in the One who sets the table

"If you have faith in the one who set the table, you have no reason to fear what goes on the plate." Ron Vangergriend, New Community "A People of Acceptance" 3/27/08

"Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds." Matthew 6:26 (Msg) Mark Beeson post 3/26/08

24 Hour Parenting

When you are a parent
a lot can happen in 24 hours

a pretty Easter dress

where we smile at the beauty You painted in her face

with the colors of our passed down DNA

eggshell masterpieces hidden in shoes and a decorated top bunk

where she painted beauty to make us smile

and search the house to say how how proud we were

a spontaneous original song called "God Knows Best"

Click here to get your own player.

rocking out to daddy's mad beat-boxing skills

where we laugh so hard it hurts our cheeks and bellies

as we realized we've given birth to the Wayne Brady of 5 year olds

and learned how much she loves what we love

But then . . .

then 3:30 am we hear a cry from her room

six hours of holding her steamy head

as Easter dinner returned, I liked it better the first time

cold washcloths to ease the 105 degrees

prayers pouring out like fever reducer in teaspoons

where we tried to love her like You love us

the highs and lows of parenting

reminding me of Your constancy

in the highs and lows, twists and turns

of our roller coaster lives

in one month

our friends the Sagarsees

will begin the ride of parenting

I pray they find new ways to trust You

in the highs and lows

as they discover a whole new meaning to the phrase

"in Your image"

"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." Genesis 1:27


"As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him." Psalm 103:13