Lunch Date with Fear

Fear talks too much

and most of the time I just sit and listen

fist under my chin, nodding from time to time

false token smiles so he feels like he's making sense

trying to be polite and endure him until the check comes

but in the opportunity of my silence

his pitch starts to sound appealing

all my life he's been hissing in my ear

but I invited You to come along today

for my lunch date with fear

You have a better proposal for both of us

and we haven't even ordered yet.

My uncivillized elbows jump and land on the table

as I lean forward to listen to only You

The more he interrupts,

the less sense he begins to make.

You model patience in your relaxed posture of peace

because You know he's meant for You alone.

And I think I just caught You winking at me....

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11

"God gives power to the faint...Courage is not the absence of fear but the presence of faith despite it." Lenya Heitzig and Penny Rose, Living Fearlessly: A Study in the Book of Joshua

"Shame arises from the fear of men, conscience from the fear of God." Samuel Johnson

"Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point." C.S. Lewis

Marilyn's Dishes

If Jesus were a grandma,
I think he might be mine.
Humility and royalty
and love all intertwined.
Maybe that’s why we love
her stoic Queen Marilyn look
And marvel at her silent focus
in cross word puzzle books.
There are times I can’t help but see her
in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John,
Quick glimpses of her spirit,
like a lightbulb flickering off and on
When Jesus wrapped that towel around his waist
and knelt to wash their feet
That’s where Grandma’s gentle hands
and quiet wisdom meet
In every song, if you listen close
you can hear her servant heart sing
But you won’t find her out onstage,
you’ll have to go back in the wings.
Or maybe in the kitchen
before the production of the family meal
Or at the bedside with a sick child
in the spot where she bent to kneel.
She calmed the stormy family seas
with toddlers and teenagers both
She loved and led her children well
through every stage of growth
She may not have healed the lame
or made the blind to see
But she was there with Band-aids and a magic kiss
for every scrape and skinned knee
Our family has plenty of talkers,
but her few words are always loaded with truth
And even now at eighty years young
she exudes the beauty of youth.
But the times when I see her the brightest
are when Jesus told his stories
Epic tales, parables with seeds
and woven metaphors that bring You glory.
My favorite story we always heard
was the one about Marilyn’s dishes
A little town called West Plains Missouri,
and a five year old’s Christmas wishes
It was the time of Steinbeck novels,
they’d lost all the animals on the farm,
But little Marilyn’s faith never wavered,
the town delighted by her hope-filled charm,
“My dishes will be here this Christmas”
she said in a Princess Marilyn stance
In a time when many dragged their feet,
little Marilyn was in a twirling dance
“Now don’t get your hopes up, Marilyn”
Thelma warned in her serious Mama voice
Secretly wishing she could find some way,
and knowing she had no choice
The town was sad that Christmas Eve
for Marilyn’s dream was quite well known
But much like the Jews that first Christmas Eve,
they didn’t know You had a plan of Your own.
Aunt Laura was the only one in the town
who didn’t seem to know the tale
And had no idea the hope she’d bring
with that box of toy dishes for sale.
Princess Marilyn was not at all surprised
and wondered why everyone was dumbfounded
But hope filled the town with this small miracle
that left them all astounded.
That little set of dishes was the just first of many
that she would carefully place
And there’s an open seat for everyone at her table
just like her open embrace.
Her dishes may have changed over the years,
for children will take care of that
But when everyone else is a thermometer,
Grandma is the thermostat
Steady and calm, keeping us cool
in each and every season
Listening to her daughters' complaining
even when there was no reason
Surviving her boys' many injuries,
broken bones and bloody noses,
And we have a feeling that life with Bob
wasn’t always a bed of roses.
But in all the ups and downs of marriage,
Her company was always preferred,
And as she shared on a walk with Mom one day,
she never doubted his love for her.
Much like her dishes, Grandma loves
providing delicious meals,
Silently listening to everyone else talk
about how everyone else feels.
But she never complained
or carried her chores like a heavy duty
But lightly carried all our doxology prayers
on the shoulders of her alto beauty.
Many a sweet honey ham or a juicy roast
have been devoured on those dishes and table
And even if that story in West Plains Missouri
evolves into an old fable
Those of us who know her well
know forgetting her could never occur
And if Jesus could be someone’s dishes,
I think he’d be one of hers.


Happy 80th Birthday, Grandma. We love you.

Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all." Mark 9:35

"But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD." Joshua 24:15b

"A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt." - Woodrow T. Wilson

Kol Yahweh Collage

the faded rectangle above the mantle
once held the Mona Lisa
as I imagined Your dedication to one subject alone
romantic, wobbly mommy-shoe-walking dreams
of me as the heroine in my own story
when I thought you were painting me
all alone in my frightening plainness
but as the years passed by
sun-faded walls decaying secretly
too slow for my fast footsteps to notice
my own child shooting up like sunflowers
long before Monet's golden vase
a pigtailed girl trapped in an unknown portrait
of a befuddled, purse-toting grownup
who still can't walk in heels
like Bambi on that first day of spring
But as the seasons keep me dizzy with their spinning

and my little girl takes an afternoon off

into the world of paper possibilities
I'm beginning to glimpse
what you might have meant for the mantle all along
a collage
a bunch of scraps found on sidewalks
old magazines on their way to the recycling plant
and even some waste already tossed aside
and only You can see the beauty
before the scissors and paste
bring us all together
but there are those days at the office
when I feel more like a speck you should brush off
than a bright spot in the mystery room we squint to see
a critic urging you to rip me off
before the glue dries and I leave a fuzzy paper flaw
admiring my larger, more colorful colleagues
the odd one out, the awkward silence,
the rolled eyes of relief when I leave the room
the only pink freckle in a beautiful mosaic
of cool blues, indigos, and greens
and that's when You press me down
blow a gentle, honey breath to dry me in place
cock your head to the side with an upturned smile
urging me to rethink beauty
and trust in Your scissor plan
in a steady hand
to find joy in my small part
in Your beautiful
collage.

"Business meetings should be viewed as worship services. Available facts can be presented and discussed, all with a view to listening to the voice of Christ. Facts are only one aspect of the decision-making process and in themselves are not conclusive. The Spirit can lead contrary to or in accordance with the available facts. God will implant a spirit of unity when the right path has been chosen and trouble us with restlessness when we have not heard correctly. Unity rather than majority rule is the principle to corporate guidance. Spirit-given unity goes beyond mere agreement. It is the perception that we have heard the Kol Yahweh, the voice of God."
Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline

"There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men. Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good... The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by[c] one Spirit into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.
Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," ...But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other."

1 Corinthians 12: 4-7, 12-15, 22-25 (NIV)

Foreshadowing You

Some call You a conspiracy
A made up tale of false hope
An overplayed version of a nice guy story
But all we have to do is go back
To those who were always looking forward.
foreshadowing You
Every branch and knot on the family tree
All the way back to the great Flood
“ …the account of Shem, Ham and Japheth, Noah's sons, who themselves had sons after the flood.” Genesis 10:1
The first of many promises to come
For Abraham, Isaac and Jacob
“…all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.” Genesis 22:18
For the tribe of Judah
“The scepter will not depart from Judah, nor the ruler's staff from between his feet…” Genesis 49:10
From the root of Jesse
“In that day the Root of Jesse will stand as a banner for the peoples; the nations will rally to him…” Isaiah 11:10
Of the House of David
“Your house and your kingdom will endure forever before me; your throne will be established forever.' "2 Samuel 7:12-16
Micah predicted the setting
“But you, Bethlehem…out of you will come for me
one who will be ruler over Israel…” Micah 5:2
Isaiah foretold the miracle
The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.” Isaiah 7:14
Even a cousin who prepared the way
“A voice of one calling:"In the desert prepare the way for the LORD…” Isaiah 40:3
Many more told us of the unexpected timing
“From the issuing of the decree to restore and rebuild Jerusalem until the Anointed One, the ruler, comes…” Daniel 9:25-26
The magic in Your hands
“Then will the eyes of the blind be opened and the ears of the deaf unstopped.” Isaiah 35:5-6
The power of Your words
"...to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.”Isaiah 61:1
The why behind the what before it even happened
"to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.” Isaiah 61:3
Even the paths You would tread
“…he will honor Galilee of the Gentiles, by the way of the sea, along the Jordan” Isaiah 9:1
And Your unlikely mode of transportation
"See, your king comes to you, righteous and having salvation, gentle and riding on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey.”Zechariah 9:9
Your anger in the temple
“…the Lord you are seeking will come to his temple; the messenger of the covenant, whom you desire, will come," Malachi 3:1
The slap in Your loving face
"The stone the builders rejected has become the capstone.” Psalm 118:22
And David foretold those intimate thoughts,
all alone,
yet with each of us
and the rest of the world on Your shoulders
“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Psalm 22:1
But like many of us, they skewed Your image,
Anxiously awaiting a political king,
a war hero who would free them from Roman rule
Blinded by their anger,
they fulfilled the final prophecies
Right down to the smallest of details
Of that fateful week…
A friend’s betrayal
“Even my close friend, whom I trusted, he who shared my bread, has lifted up his heel against me.” Psalm 41:9
For 30 pieces of silver
"I told them, 'If you think it best, give me my pay; but if not, keep it.' So they paid me thirty pieces of silver." Zechariah 11:12
Your silence before the accusers
“He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.” Isaiah 53:7
The soldiers mocking voices
“All who see me mock me; they hurl insults, shaking their heads” Psalm 22: 7-8
The beatings like a mask of wounds
“…his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man
and his form marred beyond human likeness…” Isaiah 52: 14
Your eyes steady as they spit in Your face
“I did not hide my face from mocking and spitting.” Isaiah 50: 6
When they pierced Your hands and feet
“…they have pierced my hands and my feet.” Psalm 22:16
Your plea for my forgiveness
“For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.” Isaiah 53:12
Even that bitter drink.
“They put gall in my food and gave me vinegar for my thirst.”
Psalm 69:21
And the greedy soldiers betting against You
“They divide my garments among them and cast lots for my clothing.” Psalm 22:18
But the prophecies didn’t stop there
And neither did You.
3 days later
3 more predictions fulfilled
3 promises even bigger than
that rainbow after the flood,
Abraham’s star-filled sky,
and Solomon’s riches
3 days later
1 empty tomb
“…you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One see decay.” Psalm 16:10
1 heavenly ascent
When you ascended on high, you led captives in your train” Psalm 68:18
1 seat at the right hand of the Father
"The LORD says to my Lord: "Sit at my right hand” Psalm 110:1
A new covenant
“an everlasting covenant with you, my faithful love…I have made him a leader and commander of the peoples.”Isaiah 55:3-4
A divine conspiracy
“the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.” Isaiah 53:5
And the ultimate promise kept
“I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel…I will remember their sins no more.” Jeremiah 31:31-34
the promise that when we come to die
we find Jesus there
arms wide open
calling us to come and die
so we can finally
truly
live.

The White Flag

Mr. Clark did not like my answer
so he flipped his fuzzy, hippy ponytail

behind his shoulder and clarified his question

in his best Art teacher whose patience is being tried voice
"No, Krissy, white is the absence of color.

So what is really your favorite color?"

I was taking a stand

my white-turning gray-Keds firmly planted

"White."

I looked down at the sticky, paint-freckled floor as I said it.

Wincing in hopes he wasn't angry with me.

He sighed with more Tornado coffee breath than usual

"Today's assignment deals with color.

You'll need to settle for something on your pallette

and capture the essence of a real object in our world.

I do not want to have to repeat myself again, young lady."

My 5th grade brain ran the hamster on the wheel

and wanted to ask for black paper and white paint

But it was a losing battle, so I nodded like a white flag waving.

I sighed as I swirled my brush between red and blue

and carefully painted the outline of a fluffy cloud

but in my heart I knew it wasn't about the purple lining...

white gloves with white pearl handled purses at Easter

White hymnal pages guiding us in "I Surrender All"

white daises, fresh linen pillowcases, dove soap bubble baths,

the white carpet in the living room when we removed shoes

to be standing on Mom's holy ground

lying in the grass making stories of white-horse heroes

from the cumulus canopies of cottonball possibilities

the white wig of my first transformation on the stage

into Huckleberry Finn's widow caretaker

the white tiped canes and white trimmed hats of dance

prom dress to wedding gown

and on to little white onesies snapping open

for a quick change back to clean, dry,

and powdered to perfection

but my favorite

the truth behind my all-time favorite color

or, according to Mr. Clark, lack thereof

that little white rabbit

I'll never stop chasing

the day I surrendered my life to You

and I will wave that white flag

each and every morning

as I surrender all

to You.

"Jesus paid it all, All to Him I owe;

Sin had left a crimson stain,

He washed it white as snow.

For nothing good have I

Whereby Thy grace to claim,

I’ll wash my garments white

In the blood of Calv’ry’s Lamb."

(John T. Grape, "Jesus Paid it All" hymn, 1865)

"All to Jesus I surrenderAll to Him I freely give;

I will ever love and trust Him,

In his presence daily live.
I surrender all, I surrender all;

All to thee, my blessed Savior, I surrender all."

(Judson VandeVenter,"I Surrender All"hymn, 1896)

"Faith, as Paul saw it, was a living, flaming thing leading to surrender and obedience to the commandments of Christ." A.W. Tozer

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship." Romans 12:1

The Boy on the Bus

now I know how a mother bird feels
that fateful day when those tiny, hopping feet
first fall outside her twiggy circle of safety
teetering on the edge of the branch
stretching their inexperienced wings and looking down
she must be breathless when she first loses sight of them...
but for us humans, it's a slow, hidden ritual
like watching the tree grow
but there are days you notice a new branch beginning
or a new site on the growing horizon
and today was one of those days.
She got off the bus slower than usual
her daily bounce and grin suddenly missing
as if stolen in some violent, unseen moment
and she stepped inside to tell the story.
Four older boys who I envisioned with forked tongues
had hovered over her seat like crows
the ring leader hit her on the back
"Hey, little girl! Do you know what a _________ is?"
He continued with a series of phrases and gestures
I hadn't learned until high school and way past puberty
As the vulgar words and gestures were repeated
by our naive, confused and eternally precious little kindergartener
our hearts slid into our stomaches and we tried to catch our breaths
for me, the tears were immediate,
but I was safely on the other end of the phone
keeping my voice from wavering, my tone calm, my mind racing
with routes to speed up the commute back to the nest
But she could see the anger tightening in her daddy's jawline
as he explained that those words were not meant for her ears
and the boys needed to pay for what they'd done
a noble calling for justice teetering on vengeance in his throat
and then it happened,
You were there in her voice
as she walked over and put her hand on his shoulder
"Daddy, it's ok. I bet there's a nice boy
deep down inside this mean boy
and we should say a prayer that he can come out
and that his momy and daddy can start doing better
at teaching him right from wrong."
And there she was, winging off into the sunlight
carried by the winds of You
as we marveled from the nest.
We can't shelter her from the world
or even from the boy on the bus
but we can trust in You
to help us teach her how to fly.


"Therefore you shall lay up these My words in your minds and hearts and in your entire being, and bind them for a sign upon your hands and as forehead bands between your eyes.
And you shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you rise up.
And you shall write them upon the doorposts of your house and on your gates,
That your days and the days of your children may be multiplied in the land which the Lord swore to your fathers to give them, as long as the heavens are above the earth."
Deuteronomy 11: 18-21

"To be 'in charge' as a parent means inspiring your children to motivate themselves. Servant leadership addresses the key principle of relationship vs. control. The truth is we have a far greater responsibility to our children than we have for our children. The bottom line is this: You need to be in control of the thing you can control, and that starts with you. I am responsible to my child for how I relate with my child. The only way to retain a position of influence with our children is to regain a positon of control over ourselves."
Ron Craker, "Parenting" Journey Bible Class, February 2009

"Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that."
Ephesians 5:1-2 (Msg)

Fashionably Late

"Kissing Cousins" : )

just like her mommy
our little niece has decided to take her time
and arrive fashionably late
with her own dramatic flare
and sweet romantic sensibilities
I look up at my "little" sister
facing the epic bildungsroman of motherhood
and still see a gangly nine year old
walking down the aisle
having arrived just minutes before
with a basket of flower petals
and pins still hidden in her dress
but a joy and bounce in her step
the bridesmaids had all grown out of
and a glowing smile grinning with dreams
they may have envied for a moment
three years later a daddy disappeared
in a hospital waiting room
like a car crash in slow motion
the first of many men to love, bruise, and leave
and the checkered flag was waved
growing up at NASCAR pace
and feeling a little queasy in the passenger's seat
just trying to brace herself for the next turn
the next driver to climb through the window
to love, bruise, and leave
But You had in mind a blessing she couldn't imagine
disguised as a mistaken compromise
all wrapped in pink and waiting for her
to end the spin cycle and rest in You
because it’s easy to see her daughter’s worth it
when she can’t seem to see it in herself
yet she still has that breathless fear of failure
bracing herself for the next romance and rejection
scared little Avery will follow in her footsteps
instead of walking in the truth of You
but the mother hen is pecking at the surface
and calling her back into Your arms
to the cliff's edge of complete trust
the image and reality of the one man
she can lean on
who comes to love, heal, and stay
and she wishes she'd stayed there years ago
but has that joy back in her walk
as she grins all the way to the hospital
baby equipment locked in her car
and You locked in her heart
fashionably late



Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand."
John 13:7

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." 3 John 1:4

Take Five

"take five!"
the director calls
as our shoulders relax
and our posture sinks
from our characters
to our true selves
some sit for chit chat or pull out phones
to check the modern world for what they missed
during their time in Ancient Athens
others head out for a much-desired cigarette
mixing freezing breath and nicotine in the cold night air
and I look around and think
of how much You must love them
how much You long for companionship
with these colorful characters you've written into the story
this all started with a nudge from You
to pop the bubble and avoid becoming a candle in a lit room
and I daydream of all I could say in those five minutes
they think church is "my thing"
like a new haircut, or my favorite sweater this winter,
like a preferred mix at Starbucks
as if You are a prescription for only my ailments
how do I tell them You're not just my thing?
You're everything.
This ache as if looking at a beautiful sunset
and I turn to share it with someone I love
but I am alone
the beauty somehow lessened by their absence
suddenly aware
they're missing this.
because I remember the days before You found me
where the Bard's words seem to ring true
All the world was a stage
knowing when to be on and off,
a lot of waiting in the wings for the next cue,
trying on beauty and adventure
only two hours at a time
then removing the glimpse of joy and hint of purpose
along with fitted costumes and cake makeup
and all for fleeting 2 minute applause
and a smiling bow.
I ache for the day
they can see beyond the blinding stage lights
sitting in an open cell
a child lost in a store running away from his mother
or someone drowning next to a raft
and they just keep reassuring us
they're excellent swimmers
But eventually, even for Michael Phelps
fatigue will come like a thief in the night
and I wish I could speed up the process
like the dragged out pacing in a slow scene
some spontaneous epic Shakespearean soliloquy
"Once more to the breach!" with a hint of Braveheart bravado
that would save the day and point them all to You
but the last thing they need is more production
they need to grab a hold of something
as real as their names in the folded programs
perhaps they could somehow sense the double entendre
read between the memorized lines
hear my eagerness as I ask to hear their stories
like a magic flower spell that could open their eyes
to see how much we love them
so they can finally, truly
let their postures sink
from their characters to their true selves
and not just for a five minute break
but with You for all eternity
but I know the timing isn't right
so I come to You for stage directions
for our final bow is approaching
and I close my eyes
to welcome our conversations
as I learn to
trust in Your timing and
take five


"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good." Romans 8:26-28


"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot...
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain...
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him. "
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-2, 5, 7, 10-14

Sheets and Comforter

5:00am
I hop into prayer

like mom and dad's bed

in a booming thunderstorm

with sheets of rain driving sideways in the wind

And I give this day to You

with its flood of uncertainties

wincing before each loud boom

for I cannot predict the timing

or the intensity of the mystery that shakes the windows

as if an ill-intending intruder pounding to come inside

But You just tuck me in the middle

and begin telling epic stories of David prayers

in the middle of his own storms

as You whisper beneath the comforter of morning orison

reminding me what I already knew

but needed to hear only You say

"No matter what happens. I'm here."

The Lord is my light and my salvation—

so why should I be afraid?

The Lord is my fortress,

protecting me from danger,

so why should I tremble?

...my heart will not be afraid.

Even if I am attacked,

I will remain confident.
The one thing I ask of the Lord—

the thing I seek most—

is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,

delighting in the Lord’s perfections

and meditating in his Temple.

For he will conceal me there when troubles come;

he will hide me in his sanctuary.

He will place me out of reach on a high rock.

Then I will hold my head high

I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy,

My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.”

And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.”

... the Lord will hold me close.
Teach me how to live, O Lord.

Lead me along the right path,

...I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness

while I am here in the land of the living.

Wait patiently for the Lord.

Be brave and courageous.

Yes, wait patiently for the Lord."

Psalm 27: 1, 3-6, 8, 10, 11, 13-14

"A man prayed, and at first he thought that prayer was talking. But he become more and more quiet until in the end he realized that prayer is listening." Soren Kierkegaard, Christian Discourses

"Faith is not when we abandon reality and avoid the cares of the world; faith is when we look reality square in the face. Accepting what is real, we recognize there is a deeper truth beneath that truth. There's a greater truth that transcends that truth--that God cares, that God has a plan. God cares about your life, your future, your fortune. God cares about your dreams. God made you with a purpose, on purpose, for a purpose, and God is with you." Mark Beeson "I Think We Might Lose Everything" sermon Jan. 24-25, 2009

"Jesus taught us to come like children to a father. Openness, honesty and trust mark the communication of children with their father...There is an intimacy between parents and children that has room for both seriousness and laughter...Jesus taught us to pray for daily bread. Have you ever noticed that children ask for lunch in utter confidence that it will be provided? They have no need to stash away today's sandwiches for fear there will be none tomorrow. As far as they are concerned, there is an endless supply of sandwiches." Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline

The Tour

Worship causes memory loss,
like a sight-seeing trip on a charter bus
we fly through the beauty of the countryside
or crane our necks, wide-mouthed at the lights of the city
forgetting the carpet stains back in our living rooms
because we haven't stepped over them today
all we see is the Grand Canyon, the Rockies carving out the horizon
forgetting the arguments, tasks to do,
and new anxieties teetering in our minds like a tour of glasses,
but for those moments, for that hour,
all we know is we're sailing through the glory of You
and all we can do is sing, weep, dance, smile,
maybe raise a hand or two
in our little efforts to thank You.
Think of how much we'd miss if we only watched the driver
observing his mad skills behind the wheel
noting his fervent commitment to speed limits and traffic laws
asking about the bus itself and all it's gadgetry
thinking if only we had a bus of our own, think of all we could do...
it would break the poor drivers heart
because his job is to help us forget he's even there
and enjoy the ride.
And he loves his job.
All too often this is what we do in the modern church
when we try to fit our You-appointed worship leaders
in little rock star boxes complete with twisty ties
and cool outfits from the Buckle
And after a year and half of backstage passes
watching them pray, laugh, live, and plot each new destination
I know it would break their hearts.
Because they know there's only one
true Worship Leader
and they're just a guided tour.
And they love their jobs.
Thank You for choosing this amazing group of guys
who's talents would merit fame, fortune,
and their own private tour buses with hot tubs and mini-bars
but who choose to role up their sleaves and get behind the wheel
to cause memory loss so we can enjoy the ride,
who live souled out for you
carrying joy and authentic faith in their pockets
right next to the guitar picks and some clinking coins,
driving us into a forgetful beauty
that leaves us forever changed
by the glory of You.


"Go, praying. Go, expecting. Go, looking for God to do a new and living work in you . . . look forward to God acting and moving and teaching and wooing and winnning . . . Just as worship begins in holy expectancy, it ends in holy obedience. If worship does not propel us into greater obedience, it has not been worship. To stand before the Holy One of eternity is to change. . . Today God is call his church back to worship. It's as if God is saying 'I want the hearts of my people back!' And if we long to go where God is going and do what God is doing, we will move into deeper, more authentic worship. . . Genuine worship has only one Leader, Jesus Christ. When I speak of Jesus as the Leader of worship, I mean, first of all, that he is alive and present among his people. His voice can be heard in their hearts and his presence known...Christ is the leader of worship in the sense that he alone decides what human means will be used, if any. Individuals preach or prophesy or sing or pray as they are called forth by their Leader. In this way there is no room for the elevation of private reputations. Jesus alone is honored." 

Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline


"You shall worship the Lord your God and him only shall you serve." Matt 4:10


"A quickening Presence pervades us, breaking down some part of the special privacy and isolation of our individual lives and blending our spirits within a superindividual Life and Power. An objective, dynamic Presence enfolds us all, nourishes our souls, speaks glad, unutterable comfort with us, and quickens us in depths that had before been slumbering." Thomas R. Kelly, The Eternal Promise


"Worship is a deliberate and disciplined adventure in reality." Willard Sperry, The Fellowship of the Saints


"Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way." Col 3:15-17 (Msg)

Farsighted

Gully: "There are as many ways to live as there are people in this world. And each one deserves a closer look." From the film Harriet the Spy (1996)

I think Rachel had a magnifying glass behind those pretty eyes

and the rest of us are just a little farsighted

"Every day was show and tell" Gene said

"And she never said no to an adventure."

And as I begin this new year with You

all my resolutions melt into a closer look at Rachel

the profound words in her Bible,

her Jesus joy dressed in silliness, her constant smile,

her reckless love for you doodled in the margins,

her uninhibited freedom to dance and run,

snapshots of lady bugs with cats bouncing on her back,

her "yes"s when I would have said "no"

out of my needless fear and made-up proprieties,

how she somehow lived for today and eternity all at once,

and like the endless truths of her leather-bound user's guide,

never skimming anything,

rather diving into life until her fingers got all pruny

and I can feel You whispering a new sense of responsibility

for this year and all the remaining marbles in my jar

this sticky humanity has one less delight

and it's time to step it up

and take the torch she is passing onto all of us

that looks a lot more like a magnifying glass

as we take a closer look at ourselves in the light of Your plans

and begin to redefine what it really means to be

farsighted

"People nowadays take time far more seriously than eternity." Thomas Kelly

"Again and again, as we pursue spiritual life, we must do battle with hurry. For many of us the great danger is not that we will renounce our faith. It is that we will become so distracted and rushed and preoccupied that we will settle for a mediocre version of it. We will just skim our lives instead of actually living them." John Ortberg, The Life You've Always Wanted

"Everyone thinks of changing humanity and nobody thinks of changing himself." Leo Tolstoy

“Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer

"How many people are radically and permanently repelled from The Way by Christians who are unfeeling, stiff, unapproachable, boringly lifeless, obsessive and dissatisfied? Yet such Christians are everywhere , and what they are missing is the wholesome liveliness springing from a balanced vitality with the freedom of God's loving rule." Dallas Willard, The Spirit of the Disciplines


"Goals are discovered, not made. God delights on showing us exciting new alternatives for the future." Richard Foster, A Celebration of Discipline

I heard a voice thunder from the Throne: "Look! Look! God has moved into the neighborhood, making his home with men and women! They're his people, he's their God. He'll wipe every tear from their eyes. Death is gone for good—tears gone, crying gone, pain gone—all the first order of things gone." The Enthroned continued, "Look! I'm making everything new." Revelation 21:3-4 (Msg)

The Night Before the Night Before

'Twas two Nights before Christmas and downstairs in the house,
Daddy is editing and clicking his mouse.
Mommy is breathing deep, brow furrowed with care
In hopes that the render box soon would be there.
The daughter nestled all snug in her bead
While visions of Build-a-Bears danced in her head
And momma with her computer firm on her lap
and daddy's clock screaming no time for a nap
When in my brain there arouse such a clatter
Eyes sprang from the screen to see what was the matter
Away to Paul's words I flew like a flash
To lay down my worries with a loud CRASH
For just as the spring will melt the gray snow
You remind me of truths I already know
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear?
A verse that sings of how You are near.
With tapping toes to have it all done and quick
You whisper "Go give him a kiss between clicks"
For two days from now, we'll all talk of Who came
And sing all the songs, repeating Your name.
"Now give up your cares of last minute decisions!
Out lofty goals and perfection precision!
Out worries of planning ahead with faith small!
Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky
I offered them up and freely they flew
My toe-tapping, nail-biting, and butterflies,too.
Then, as if twinkling, I smiled wide, aloof,
my shoulders lighter without burdens of proof
As I drew in my breath and was turning around
Down the Holy Spirit came with a bound
He was dressed in peace from his head to his foot
and with secrets in His eyes, He winked a "stay put"
A bag full of joys He had flung on his back
He knelt down beside me to reach in His sack.
He smiled as He offered the real Christmas story
Of Peace on Earth and time to give You glory.
Of presence that didn't come wrapped in a bow
Of good news beyond any well-written show
Of the silent night that lies underneath
all honking traffic and candy cane wreaths
Perfect desserts to fill up our bellies,
Santa's loud laugh and his bowl full of jelly.
A simple gift I can't stack on a shelf
And a story of love I can't keep to myself.
And closing my eyes and bowing my head
I was silent as that night to listen instead
I spoke not a word, let Your story work
Cringing at images of me as the jerk
And just like that baby in swaddling clothes
I can feel Your forgiveness and love as it grows
Then my chest rises and I sigh like a whistle
Guilt floating away like the down of a thistle
My lips parted to say with a faith beyond sight
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"



"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life." Philippians 4:6 (Msg)

"One of Jesus' names is Immanuel. It means God is with us. It's no wonder the angels told the shepherds,'Do not be afraid!' You lose your fear when God is near. God's presence trumps our panic." Rick Warren, The Purpose of Christmas

Update:
Just as You intended from the beginning, the service turned out to be an inspiration to many, even a fabulous 15 year old girl named Heather!

Tick, tick, six

"She will set a garland of grace on your head and present you with a crown of splendor." Proverbs 4:9

Lauren (crowned with flowers) Grace (mercy, beauty, or good will)

Every mother knows that ache of a fast-moving clock

but on the morning of her sixth birthday, it stops

as her life verse highlights the page.

a timeless thought, an intimate moment

captured on an ancient scroll

Solomon offering hand-me-down wisdom

from the man after Your own heart

a love for learning that surpasses

any physical beauty or earthly monarchy

beyond any temple he could conceive

or any lover he could woo with poetry

a simple request for wisdom

only to know You more

and all this before the Messiah gift

and the true meaning of Grace

long before her golden hair slithered in the wintry wind

long before those big blue eyes began to turn green like mine

long before her slippery smile and that machine-gun laugh

long before she fell asleep on his chest

toddled down the hall, played peek-a boo

and headed off the preschool

long before the days of sleepovers and bus rides

before she ever danced to the sound of her middle name

You chose to define, embody and tender it

to this paragon little girl of mine

whose wisdom leaves my mouth gaping

and whose beauty reminds me of everything You

everything Grace

in this fast-flying tick-tocking pace of motherhood

I come again to You like Solomon

a simple request for wisdom

crowned with a garland of grace

to help my -not so little anymore- girl live up to her name

and bring as much glory to You with the rest of her life

as joy she has brought to me these past six years

because in a blink of Your eye

she will be tick, tick sixty ...

"For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men

[and even six year old girls]." Titus 2:11

One by One

I found myself humming a tune today

from the days of bouncing pigtails,

and seersucker dresses that sway in the springtime,

the warm sun stopping by for a fall-time cameo

as the humming vined into words

I didn't know I still knew . . .

Count your blessings

Name them one by one

Count your blessings

See what God has done

Count your blessings

Name them one by one

Count your many blessings

See what God has done

The men deep frying the turkey on the back porch

standing and staring at the steam rising like the peace in their eyes

My mom and my daughter doing makeovers in the living room

as five and fifty year old giggles give and take in a teeter totter of joy

I smile in the kitchen through glass measuring cups

and start singing again, the verses stirring like the wooden spoons in my hands

When upon life's billows

You are tempest tossed

When you are discouraged

Thinking all is lost

Count your many blessings

Name them one by one

And it will surprise you

What the Lord has done

This has not been the easiest year of our lives

we've felt a little sea sick in those billows

leaning over the sides, a little wary and green,

our heads spinning in the changing winds

But today, the waters are calm and we set aside a day of Thanksgiving

for the sunshine, and even the tossing tempests

because we held on to You and eachother

long enough to look around and see all we have to thank You for.

Count your blessings

Name them one by one

Count your blessings

See what God has done

Count your blessings

Name them one by one

Count your many blessings

See what God has done

("Count Your Blessings" song by Johnson Oatman jr, 1897)

one husband to grow up and old with,
one daughter to love and guide closer to You
one family that passes down a legacy of worship
one job You hand-stitched in the shape of Me
and counting one by one feels a little daunting
like grains of sand on a beach, the clouds in the sky,
or Your promise to Abraham that star-gazing night.
And all I can think to do is sing
and think of You.

"When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you." Deuteronomy 8:10

Overactive Imagination

We are a family of dreamers
A marriage of poetry bearing a child of play
Daddy's palette a silver screen
giving flight to birds that wing to You
gliding on the winds of epic violin soundtracks
or lost boys diving in the sand for Your buried treasures
with conga drums and those deep inhalations
the growing yellow firelight dancing in their pupils
Mommy with her head in the clouds
her hands on the laptop like a Mozart figurine
and her feet on the stage where she plays out
the beauty of Your gifts in the dim light of humanity's messes
a little girl's mind so filled with musical stories
they spill over like fountains dripping with rhyme
complete with twirling choreography and dramatic pauses
when all you need is a windowless room and a flashlight
to create a time machine unlimited by time
when playdough leaps from its plastic buckets into her hands
and is molded into a thriving metropolis
and a blank rectangle and some watercolors
transform into a 3 dimensional rainbow land of happiness
but there is an ache between the rainbow lines
for this Mama Bear in the Goldilocks tale
a daydream of "just right"
the day when my little girl's overactive imagination
will move from purple clouded glitter castles
to Your Kingdom all around her
from furrowed-browed scary stories in dark closets
to smiling shouted truths of the light of the world
from lamp-lit waltzes with imaginary princes
to dancing in the sun head back, arms out, like David
all alone in his beautiful foolishness
from side stepping, neck bulging songs of High School romances
to feet planted melodies rooted in the major chords of You
just a mother's overactive imagination
and not just for her
but for all the dimly lit faces in the seats
the day when their loftiest goals crumble at Your feet like castles
when fears roll out of clouded minds like a storm to sea
when loneliness becomes only a distant memory
a familiar tune without the words
all their pain blurred like frosty windows
so they can return to the fireside of You
and know that Winter is only a season.
Thank you for this whimsical gift
a house full of overactive imaginations
and a simple day dream of what can be.


"God created us with an imagination, and as Lord of his creation he can and does redeem it and use for the work of the kingdom of God. . . . some have an 'overactive imagination,' as we say and they can concoct all kinds of images of what they would like to see happen . . . .That is why it is so vitally important for us to be thrown in utter dependence upon God in these matters. We are seeking to think God's thoughts after Him, to delight in his presence, to desire his truth and his way. . . the common experience of those who walk with God is one of being given images of what can be . . . . Imagination opens up the door to faith." Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline

"God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us." Ephesians 3:20 (Msg)


"Celebration isn't wishful thinking. It's escatological thinking. It's knowing how the story ends." Jason Miller, "Spiritual Practices: Celebration" Journey Bible class 11/12/08

" . . . by means of the imagination we confine our mind within the mystery on which we meditate, that it may not ramble to and fro, just as we shut up a bird in a cage or tie a hawk by his leash so that he may rest on the hand." Francis De Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Phillipians 4:8

Michelangelo University

It started with a whisper on a jog
like wind blowing the twirling leaves down
to crunch under my nikes
something misty that became palpable.
It grew into a calling
like a quiet familiar song I strained to recognize
an investigation,
like that new project that feels more like a dream
and the disappointment
of what felt like a boat of adventure floating out to sea
and I'm left standing on the shore in the same hot sand
I gave up for a bit in the paralysis of a beautiful letdown
and a few mood swings, meaningless complaints,
exaggerated breakdowns in my gummy girlishness.
Then along came a hutzpah that wouldn't let me give up
like that teeth-gritting jaw clench in the last stretch
Then that final nudge from You
When you can't afford to go to seminary,
just bring the seminary to you . . .
Because every single day
I just want to look a little less like the mess of me
and a little more like the mysteries of You.





"When the great sculptor Michelangelo was asked how he created his masterpiece David, he replied that he just chipped away everything that didn't look like David. Simple as that. And that's what God does in your life. He chips away at everything in your character that doesn't look like Jesus Christ--all the character faults and flaws--because His plan is to perfect you in the image of His Son."
Kerry Shook, One Month to Live



(Setting: Living Room University)
Lauren: Is that the Bible?
Me: Nope, just a book I'm reading.
Lauren: Wow, that's a big book, Mom. They're not kidding.
Me: (holding back a chuckle) Yep.
Lauren: What's it about? Can I read it?
Me: It's about God, and sure. (patting the couch)
Lauren: (reading slowly, sounding it out) "We will never-- in this life, at least--understand God fully . . . " What does that mean?
Me: Well, it means we'll never really know how cool God really is until we get to heaven. But it's still fun to try. What do you think about that?
Lauren: Cool. (skips off to play Barbies as if to say. "Ok, YOU read that ginarmous book. I'm outta here.")



"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." Mark 12:30



"The word of God can be in the mind without being in the heart; but it cannot be in the heart without first being in the mind." R.C. Sproul



"God has put enough into the world to make faith in him a most reasonable thing, and he has left enough out to make it impossible to live by sheer reason and observation alone." Ravi Zacharias



"Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty?" Job 11:7


"It was a beautiful letdown
When You found me here
Yeah, for once in a rare blue moon
I see everything clear
I'll be a beautiful letdown
That's what I'll forever be
And though it may cost my soul
I'll sing for free"
"Beautiful Letdown" song by Switchfoot

Shoe Fly

Sometimes I feel like I fly with muddy shoes
buzzing around people's ears
dancing around people's nerves
in the way
on the fly
and looking for a spot to rest.
Landing silence may be a relief
but they just roll their eyes
shoo me away
and wipe off my muddy footprints.
Those days where I'm that chubby, half-tucked shirt kid
that waddles up to the teacher's desk
greeted by a furrowed brow over the bifocals
and told to "sit right back down, young man"
and save my question for the afternoon.
Or the mom who only becomes visible
when someone can't find their other sock,
the quiet insecurity mistaken for snobbery,
the shaky hand in a game of Operation,
the cowlick who can't sit down,
the daydreaming dancer one beat behind,
the eager drummer one beat ahead,
running on ice
sprinting underwater
one broken arm in a sling
and one difficult jar to open.
Searching for a speechless cave
where I can close my eyes
not say a word
and avoid all disappointments.
But then I land in the middle of the 66
with David hiding out in a cave of his own
Just a kid with some rocks
who got on the nerves of a king
chillin' in a carved out rock
with his buzzing honesty
muddy sandals
and a scroll-lookin' diary.
Placing words back in my mouth
and truth back in my buzzing head
like a shower at the end of a dusty day.
We both peek out of the cave
and our blind-folded pity parties
to feel the warmth of the sunny truth.
We are not flies with muddy shoes at all.
We were hand-crafted
by the one who lit up the universe like a Christmas tree
built the spiraling tower of our DNA with a steady hand
and has much more in mind for us
than buzzing and muddy footprints.
So Dave and I take long deep breaths
and sing like we're back in preschool
"Shoe Fly, don't bother me
Shoo, fly, don't bother me
Shoe Fly, don't bother me
'Cuz I believe in what I can't see"
Then all we can do is laugh at ourselves
Two bemused, oddball poets
pens dripping with gratitude
and a calling to write it down.
Because You won't force them
to flock to our caves,
we have to fly to them.


"The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make heaven of Hell, and a hell of Heaven."
John Milton

"If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well."
Psalm 139:11-14

"Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it."
C.S. Lewis

"He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.
I desire to do your will, O my God;
your law is within my heart."
I proclaim righteousness in the great assembly;
I do not seal my lips,
as you know, O LORD.
I do not hide your righteousness in my heart;
I speak of your faithfulness and salvation.
I do not conceal your love and your truth
from the great assembly.
But may all who seek you
rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who love your salvation always say,
'The LORD be exalted!'"
Psalm 40:3, 8-10, 16

"It is true that we make many mistakes. But the biggest of them all is to be surprised at them: as if we had hope of never making any. . . Life itself is imperfect . . . . Each individual thing is only a sketch of the specific perfection planned for its kind. Why should we ask to be anything more? . . . we cease to look for perfection where it alone can be found: in God. The secret of the imperfection of all things, of their inconstancy, their fragility, their falling into nothingness, is that they are only a shadowy expression of the one Being from Whom they receive their being. If they were absolutely perfect and changeless in themselves, they would fail in their vocation, which is to give glory to God by their contingency."
Thomas Merton, No Man is an Island

Fall Back

sometimes we forget

in our lofty plans for art that moves

in our sketchy dreams of beauty

in our whiteboard plans for the coming season

sometimes we forget to find joy in the crisp, bending wind

to listen for the clattered rhythm of our waving branched fingers

to see purity in the blanketing frost foreshadowing a stable night

sometimes we forget to keep it simple

to trust in You

to fall back

away

from

our

own

fall

back

plans

and

lean

into

the

cradling

beauty of

Your wintry winds

and just . . . fall back.

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9

"I am always amazed that when I give God a fraction of an inch of willingness to follow, God gives me miles of goodness and grace. When we talk about guidance, we must remember that we are not the center of the universe. Ultimately our wants are not top priority. While God cares for us and provides for us, we are called to be part of God's kingdom, fulfilling the role he created us to fill. God is not part of our lives; we are a part of God's. But in being part of God's life, we will be richly blessed and well cared for." Valerie Hess, Spiritual Disciplines Devotional

"To wait open-endedly is an enormously radical attitude toward life. So is to trust that something will happen to us that is far beyond our imaginings. So, too, is giving up control over our future and letting God define our life, trusting that God moulds us according to God's love and not according to our fear. The spiritual life is a life in which we wait, actively present to the moment, trusting that new things will happen to us, new things that are far beyond our own imagination, fantasy, or prediction. That, indeed, is a very radical stance toward life in a world preoccupied with control." Henri Nouwen

Cornering Krissy

There once was a little girl named Krissy
who seemed like a good little girl
her parents smiled at their beautiful child
but her older brother wanted to hurl...
The poor little guy was just way too smart
for his own little two year old good
and as he grew his parents knew
he didn't behave like a nice brother should.
The mother cried, the father was puzzled
"Where did we go wrong?
That our little boy would make it his joy
to torture her all day long?"
As he got a little older,
his genius was put to good use
to find new ways to terrorize her days
while she waved a flag of truce.
He got a little tired of being grounded
and the lectures from mom and dad
then one night, a bulb of light
what great idea he had!
So the next day after school
before the parents came home
he pushed her in the corner and began to warn her
and reminded her they were alone.
He said the meanest things that came to his mind
He just wanted to see her cry
he trapped her in, like a grenade has a pin
and wouldn't let her leave 'til her eyes were dry.
"If you tell mom and dad", he said with a glare
"things will only get worse"
the fear was real, so she made a deal
and promised not to converse.
He wasn't really that bad of a kid
just too smart for his own good
He never touched her, or even punched her
Just didn't love her like a big brother should.
But his word was always law
from that frightening cornered day on
he had the power to make her cower
like a mind-gaming Genghis Khan.
Krissy grew up and her brother did too
saying good-bye to childish days
he said he felt bad for how he was as a lad
and everything seemed okay.
But there were still those times in grown-up Krissy's life
when she'd find herself feeling again
like she's back in the corner, with no one to warn her
wondering when it will end.
This time is different, she tells herself
still feeling like prey in a den
this time instead, she bows her head
and walks away with a smiling Amen.


"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me." 1 Corinthians 13:11

Highlights

I always loved highlighters
the secret hunt for main ideas
like needles in haystacks
in preparation for the review day
and the challenge of the pop quiz
a silent thrill ride
as I would roll my eyes
and pretend to hate it like my classmates
hiding my secret cravings for essay questions
and geometry proof paragraphs
but this
is a tough one
more like there's no needle at all
I just have to find the right strand of hay
they all look alike
and the barn keeps getting bigger
But that's when You come in
sitting with me in the cold of the barn
not afraid to get mud on your knees
knodding and pointing to search in certain places
and when these tough assignments come
I know You will always find me
guide me
and highlight what You have in mind
and in all my life
those are the real
highlights.


"Faith and doubt are both inevitable, but they are NOT equal. Doubt is an inescapable part of the human condition. When certainty is impossible, faithfulness is still on the table." Rob Wegner and Chad Meister, Reasons for God class 10/8/08

"Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he's the one who will keep you on track.
Don't assume that you know it all." Proverbs 3:5-7 (Msg)