Saturday, February 28, 2009

The White Flag

Mr. Clark did not like my answer
so he flipped his fuzzy, hippy ponytail
behind his shoulder and clarified his question
in his best Art teacher whose patience is being tried voice
"No, Krissy, white is the absence of color.
So what is really your favorite color?"
I was taking a stand
my white-turning gray-Keds firmly planted
I looked down at the sticky, paint-freckled floor as I said it.
Wincing in hopes he wasn't angry with me.
He sighed with more Tornado coffee breath than usual
"Today's assignment deals with color.
You'll need to settle for something on your pallette
and capture the essence of a real object in our world.
I do not want to have to repeat myself again, young lady."
My 5th grade brain ran the hamster on the wheel
and wanted to ask for black paper and white paint
But it was a losing battle, so I nodded like a white flag waving.
I sighed as I swirled my brush between red and blue
and carefully painted the outline of a fluffy cloud
but in my heart I knew it wasn't about the purple lining...
white gloves with white pearl handled purses at Easter
White hymnal pages guiding us in "I Surrender All"
white daises, fresh linen pillowcases, dove soap bubble baths,
the white carpet in the living room when we removed shoes
to be standing on Mom's holy ground
lying in the grass making stories of white-horse heroes
from the cumulus canopies of cottonball possibilities
the white wig of my first transformation on the stage
into Huckleberry Finn's widow caretaker
the white tiped canes and white trimmed hats of dance
prom dress to wedding gown
and on to little white onesies snapping open
for a quick change back to clean, dry,
and powdered to perfection
but my favorite
the truth behind my all-time favorite color
or, according to Mr. Clark, lack thereof
that little white rabbit
I'll never stop chasing
the day I surrendered my life to You
and I will wave that white flag
each and every morning
as I surrender all
to You.

"Jesus paid it all, All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.
For nothing good have I
Whereby Thy grace to claim,
I’ll wash my garments white
In the blood of Calv’ry’s Lamb."
(John T. Grape, "Jesus Paid it All" hymn, 1865)

"All to Jesus I surrenderAll to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In his presence daily live.
I surrender all, I surrender all;
All to thee, my blessed Savior, I surrender all."
(Judson VandeVenter,"I Surrender All"hymn, 1896)

"Faith, as Paul saw it, was a living, flaming thing leading to surrender and obedience to the commandments of Christ." A.W. Tozer

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship." Romans 12:1


Elle said...

I thought this was going to be about me. ;)

I had chills reading this - I connected with so many of those white memories. And, with any luck, your art teacher's fuzzy, hippy pony tail is now white.

Mark Beeson said...

I love this post. I absolutely love it.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.