Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Take Five

"take five!"
the director calls
as our shoulders relax
and our posture sinks
from our characters
to our true selves
some sit for chit chat or pull out phones
to check the modern world for what they missed
during their time in Ancient Athens
others head out for a much-desired cigarette
mixing freezing breath and nicotine in the cold night air
and I look around and think
of how much You must love them
how much You long for companionship
with these colorful characters you've written into the story
this all started with a nudge from You
to pop the bubble and avoid becoming a candle in a lit room
and I daydream of all I could say in those five minutes
they think church is "my thing"
like a new haircut, or my favorite sweater this winter,
like a preferred mix at Starbucks
as if You are a prescription for only my ailments
how do I tell them You're not just my thing?
You're everything.
This ache as if looking at a beautiful sunset
and I turn to share it with someone I love
but I am alone
the beauty somehow lessened by their absence
suddenly aware
they're missing this.
because I remember the days before You found me
where the Bard's words seem to ring true
All the world was a stage
knowing when to be on and off,
a lot of waiting in the wings for the next cue,
trying on beauty and adventure
only two hours at a time
then removing the glimpse of joy and hint of purpose
along with fitted costumes and cake makeup
and all for fleeting 2 minute applause
and a smiling bow.
I ache for the day
they can see beyond the blinding stage lights
sitting in an open cell
a child lost in a store running away from his mother
or someone drowning next to a raft
and they just keep reassuring us
they're excellent swimmers
But eventually, even for Michael Phelps
fatigue will come like a thief in the night
and I wish I could speed up the process
like the dragged out pacing in a slow scene
some spontaneous epic Shakespearean soliloquy
"Once more to the breach!" with a hint of Braveheart bravado
that would save the day and point them all to You
but the last thing they need is more production
they need to grab a hold of something
as real as their names in the folded programs
perhaps they could somehow sense the double entendre
read between the memorized lines
hear my eagerness as I ask to hear their stories
like a magic flower spell that could open their eyes
to see how much we love them
so they can finally, truly
let their postures sink
from their characters to their true selves
and not just for a five minute break
but with You for all eternity
but I know the timing isn't right
so I come to You for stage directions
for our final bow is approaching
and I close my eyes
to welcome our conversations
as I learn to
trust in Your timing and
take five

"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good." Romans 8:26-28

"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot...
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain...
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him. "

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-2, 5, 7, 10-14


Sarah Koutz said...

Take Five - Great Jazz chart. Go listen to it if you haven't.

I love your outlook. Wish I could get to your show this weekend. I'll be praying for you.

Elle said...

This is so beautiful, Kristin. I love your heart and how you put yourself in places where you can love those who don't know how much they matter.