Egg Hunt

a wolf in sheep's clothing isn't always easy to spot

like the truth in a game of telephone

I miss my former students

so many of them walk in darkness

a little on edge but too old to ask for help

groping as if blind, wondering if there's an easier way

when it's as simple as a slipknot blindfold

and a true story of the one place they belong

I wish I could make that story real for them

as real as their ipods, facebook pages, and favorite t-shirts

it hurts sometimes

like an exit missed and I can't turn around

so I poor myself into Easter service plans

loving their faces and their families in the back of my mind

Many of them will go to some kind of church this Easter

in suits and pretty dresses

an Americana Pink Bunny ritual

they may not come to this place

but wherever they go

let them find more than a family tradition

before the plastic egg hunt in the backyard

let them find some truth

in the light of You

and help them to start hunting

for more than just Easter eggs

"We do not see things as they are. We see things as we are. Could it possibly be that your reality is skewed by a lack of light? A lie that is told long enough, loud enough, and often enough, pretty soon sounds like the truth.While the power of the lie holds us captive, the person of Jesus Christ sets us free."

Dave Engbrecht, New Community sermon March 6, 2008

"In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. " Blaise Pascal

"But you belong. The Holy One anointed you, and you all know it. I haven't been writing this to tell you something you don't know, but to confirm the truth you do know, and to remind you that the truth doesn't breed lies." 1 John 2:20

"Jesus once again addressed them: 'I am the world's Light. No one who follows me stumbles around in the darkness. I provide plenty of light to live in.'" John 8:12

Hint, Hint

I woke up and saw the grass today
and found You waiting for me in the rustling pages
how You left Galilee behind and headed for Jerusalem (Mk 10:1)
a hint of spring with a patchwork of winter white
as You offered rest for the weary (Matthew 11:28-30)
buds spotting the trees with hope of friends chillin' in the shade
as You explained who our neighbor really is(Luke 10:25-37)
my little girl looked out the window and said "whoa, it is so spring!"
as You looked up and smiled at Your Dad (Luke 10:21-24)
a family of geese stopped by for a visit on their instinctual route
and You taught us the route of prayer (Luke 11:1-4)
new life sprouting it's way through a blanket of dead leaves
as You whispered a story of persistence (Luke 11:5-8)
and I knew
Easter is coming


"I have just thrown open the window on a glorious spring morning. A fresh breeze is stirring around the garden . . . All around, there is a sense of creation throwing of it's winter coverings and getting ready for an outburst of new life. All these are images early Christians used to describe just as strange as the story of Jesus, but just as real as their own lives." N.T. Wright, Simply Christian

"The signs are all around you, but even more the signs are all within you. Your soul is being pulled forward. You are being called to a God whose voice your ears have never heard." Erwan McManus, Soul Cravings

"At that time Jesus, full of joy through the Holy Spirit, said, 'I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure.' . . . Then he turned to his disciples and said privately, 'Blessed are the eyes that see what you see'." Luke 10: 21,23

Bildungsroman

I always wished I had a dramatic testimony

some epic tale of You finding me

in the dark places we only read about or see in movies

a climactic, cinematic, automatic blockbuster tale

that would bring out tiny tissue packets from old lady's purses

and the engraved hankies from the suit pockets of the men

at summer campmeetings where I learned to sing

some old bar songs with new lyrics

but mom and dad loved us well

with an apple pie, bubble gum, flannelgraph childhood

where Jesus was at the dinner table

pushing us on the swingset

smiling from the felt boards

dressing in itchy burlap twice a year

and kissing us goodnight in bedtime prayers

but my forever friend grew up too

the world wasn't as pretty as my bedtime stories

romance didn't end the movie

and I couldn't find the sunset to walk off into

then You came leaping off the flannelgraph
asking me for more than I wanted to give

the conversation never really ending

just fading in and out like a bad connection

with a static fear on my end

I almost lost You a few times

but found You again in the oddest of places

a party where You asked me to stay

Dad's face on my wedding day

Picadilly Circus in London

in the middle of a cornfield

in a coffee house in Texas
in an 8lb. 13 ounce invitation to chase You like never before

in the stories of the ones who couldn't pay attention in my class

in a church that is bigger than any building
the more I sought You I realized

it's time to grow up and get up
there's work to be done

less like a kiss goodnight

and more like an earthquake in the morning

"What if Jesus meant what he said? What if we know precisely what Jesus meant when Jesus said what he said? What if we just don't like what Jesus said? What then?" Mark Beeson, "Are We Kidding Ourselves?" post

"If you want flannelgraph Jesus to stay your forever friend, that's what you'll get. If you want to truth about Jesus, that's what you'll get." Mark Beeson, "Tight Like Spandex"sermon 3/1-2/08

"Just remember, you gotta clean what you catch." Papa in William P. Young's The Shack

"The music he wrote must now be performed." N.T. Wright, Simply Christian

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash." Matthew 7:24-27 (NIV)

By the Book

rules are like a golden retriever kept on a leash

a constant companion of clear expectation

heal, sit, stay, but don't fetch

because I'm still holding the leash

but the comforting blanket
that keeps us warm at night

if we're not careful

and a little careless

can be twisted into a straight jacket

where law overshadows people

and the truth is twisted

like Your ten commandments

as ammunition for Your son

or the book You meant as a love letter

becoming faded files in a courtroom

I like books

the leash gives the rush of control

the blanket swaddles

the lists are smiling with checkmarks

keeping everything in place

just like the nails

when they murdered You

by the book

"Passive theft is still left. I have stolen joy from people I love. I have stolen time from people by not giving them my full attention when they are speaking from their depths." Dr. Bob Laurent, "Do Not Steal" sermon 2/28/08

"The Bible doesn't teach you to follow rules. It is a picture of Jesus . . . Just don't look for rules and principles; look for a relationship--a way of coming to be with Me . . . Enforcing rules, especially in its more subtle expression like responsibility and expectation, is a vain attempt to creat certainty out of uncertainty. And contrary to what you might think, I have a great fondness for uncertainty. Rules cannot bring freedom; they only have the power to accuse . . . Rules and principals are simpler than relationship . . . I don't want to be first among a list of values; I want to be the center of everything." Papa in William P. Young's The Shack

"The religion scholars and Pharisees are competent teachers in God's Law. You won't go wrong in following their teachings on Moses. But be careful about following them. They talk a good line, but they don't live it. They don't take it into their hearts and live it out in their behavior. It's all spit-and-polish veneer . . . Instead of giving you God's Law as food and drink by which you can banquet on God, they package it in bundles of rules, loading you down like pack animals. They seem to take pleasure in watching you stagger under these loads, and wouldn't think of lifting a finger to help." Matthew 23:1,4 (Msg)

"Don't suppose for a minute that I have come to demolish the Scriptures— either God's Law or the Prophets. I'm not here to demolish but to complete. I am going to put it all together, pull it all together in a vast panorama. God's Law is more real and lasting than the stars in the sky and the ground at your feet. Long after stars burn out and earth wears out, God's Law will be alive and working." Mathew 5:17

Liberty in the Lean Times

I used to be a fearful giver

like some pouting child told to clean up his room

who wonders what cartoon he might be missing

shoving things in a huff under the bed

and rushing his minimal efforts

but I love how You change me

now matter how much I resist

leading me to the freedom of a cheerful giver

like Mary Poppins snapping her fingers

with a bird singing in perfect harmony from the windowsill

or Polyanna skipping with basket in tow

leaving a breadcrumb trail of joy in her wake

but You and I both know

it's harder to lean when times are lean

You keep teaching me to love doing things that make no sense

in a world of nonsense under the guise of intellect

because every time I re-read Your red letters

you redefine common sense

and call me to lean on You

just a little more

"Ask yourself this week, which way am I leaning?"
Rob Wegner, "Livin' on a Prayer" sermon 2/23-24

"Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share." 1 Timothy 6:17-19

"There are many folks like you, Mackenzie, who end up locking themselves into a very small place with a monster that will ultimately betray them, that will not fill or deliver what they thought it would. Imprisoned with such a terror, they once again have the opportunity to return to me. The very treasure they trusted in will become their undoing . . .

Systems cannot provide you security, only I can . . . It's extremely hard to rescue someone unless they are willing to trust you . . . The whole thing is a process, not an event . . . All I want from you is to trust me with what little you can, and grow in loving people around you with the same love I share with you."

Jesus in "The Shack" by William P. Young

Papa: "Mack, I thought you might want this . . ."

Mack: "Can you keep it for me? All my best treasures are now hidden in You anyway . . ."

The Great Sadness

some books change me forever

and startle me like a stranger in my living room

who prompts me to gasp then smile

and calmly say "Oh, there you are."

I too have experienced the Great Sadness

which you lifted and turned into joy

not a quick-fix band-aid pull

more like ice melting

drip

by

drip

I can't go back to the calendar

and point to it's departure

all I know is freedom

to take in the stars with You on the dock

to get dirt under my fingernails

while we uproot the garden

for those great talks over pies in the kitchen

but three people I love are now stuck in the ice

of the Great Sadness

and they don't really believe in Your spring

even though they hear it every Sunday

I hold my breath, paralyzed to watch them

like a child drowning in 6 inches of water

or a six year old in a shack with a monster

but only You can rescue, release, and redeem

so I let out my breath

and trust in Your plan

because in the end

the Great Sadness

just doesn't hold water or ice

next to the warmth of Your joy,

Papa

Mack: "I just can't imagine any final outcome that would justify all this."

Papa: "We're not justifying it. We're redeeming it."

William P. Young, The Shack

"Real Christianity does not say love is blind, it says love takes a good long look."

Dr. Bob Laurent, New Community, 2/21/08

"When a woman gives birth, she has a hard time, there's no getting around it. But when the baby is born, there is joy in the birth. This new life in the world wipes out memory of the pain. The sadness you have right now is similar to that pain, but the coming joy is also similar. When I see you again, you'll be full of joy, and it will be a joy no one can rob from you. You'll no longer be so full of questions." John 16:21-23

Other Great lines from The Shack by William P. Young:

"Just remember, you gotta clean what you catch."

"Life takes a bit of time and a lot of relationship."

"Freedom can never be forced."

"When all you can see is your pain, perhaps you lose sight of Me?"

"Living unloved is like clipping a bird's wings and removing it's ability to fly . . . this isn't Sunday school. It's a flying lesson."

"You don't play a game or color a picture with a child to show your superiority. Rather, you choose to limit yourself so as to facilitate and honor the relationship." (referring to Jesus)

"I am not who you think I am, MacKenzie. I don't need to punish people for sin. Sin is it's own punishment, devouring you from the inside. It's not my purpose to punish it; it's my joy to cure it . . . I will use every choice you make for the ultimate good and the most loving outcome."

"Rights are where survivors go, so they won't have to work out relationships."

" . . . your independence with its quest for power and fulfillment actually destroys the relationship your heart longs for."

"Love is just the skin of knowing."

"Some folks try with all kinds of coping mechanisms and mental games. But the monsters are still there, just waiting for the chance to come out."

"As well-intentioned as it might be, you know that religious machinery can chew up people."

" . . . out of what seems to be a huge mess, Papa weaves a magnificent tapestry."

"You don't have to have it all figured out. Just be with me."

"Relax, Mack; this is not a test. It's a conversation."

Dry Erase Words

I wish I could talk with a dry erase board
fumbling stupidity can be wiped away
with the swipe of a fingertip
returning to the sleek white emptiness
of a brand new day
straight A's came easy from the back of the class
taking notes and always writing in pencil
renewed by the smell of fresh eraser shavings
easily brushed off by the heal of my hand
neatly printed papers were covered in praise
but I couldn't really take the credit
Because I really owe it all to
my faithful friend--the backspace key
but friendships write with Sharpies
and crossing things out
only adds to the mess
bleeding through to others and leaving a stain
but being myself in the relaxing stream of consciousness
is more like white water rafting
and only means they'll leave a little sooner
so I pre-edit, try to stay quiet
and come to You
the only one who can read the illegible
to sense you smiling at my stupid words crossed out
and knowing I just want to love them well
like You love me
I've been trying to write out formulas
for a new equation
I'm a little lost
the board is messy
and I'm handing the marker to You



"Have you ever been perceived as pushy, insensitive, or apathetic when you had no intention to convey that attitude? While it's not a sin to be perceived in a negative light, it can strain relationships and cause misunderstandings. For example if our attempts at humor come out as cutting sarcasm, people will be repelled. If we dominate or control a meeting, those around the table will eventually stop participating. Our nervous laughter may inadvertently have the effect of irritating people. This is not about image control. This is about being more self-aware. It's about being alert to any personal idiosyncrasies you and I have that could hinder our rapport with other people." Rory Noland, Thriving as an Artist in the Church

"I sometimes think that writing is like driving sheep down a road. If there is a gate open to the left or the right the readers will most certainly go into it." C.S. Lewis, God in the Dock

"Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the toungue of the wise brings healing." Proverbs 12: 18

"Love . . . doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always 'me first,'
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others."
1 Corinthians 13:5 (msg)

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." Paul, Romans 7:15

The Smiling Apprentice

Thank you for sending me people
who wear Your smile
fashion Your joy
laugh in Your playfulness
stay through the hiccups
and live their lives for You
giving back and managing well
the talents you gave them
all so we can talk about
my least favorite topic
the green stuff
dun, dun, dun
the columns that can bring
hand-me-down tears from mom
the stamped envelops that add up to
pressure mountains for the man I love
because the bandaids don't really do much
when your appendix is leaking
it feels like opening the chaos closet
in a beautiful pristine home
the top shelf ten percent stands neatly at attention
but the other ninety percent tumbles out at us
like an avalanche of gadgets with no manuels
and it's so much prettier after that latch clicks
help us as the closet door stays open
we hunt for the manuels in all the right places
and we begin to sort the mess
thank You for these amazing volunteers
who inspire us all
to manage well
give generously
and have a little fun with You in the process

"We are intimately linked in this harvest work. Anyone who accepts what you do, accepts me, the One who sent you. Anyone who accepts what I do accepts my Father, who sent me. Accepting a messenger of God is as good as being God's messenger. Accepting someone's help is as good as giving someone help. This is a large work I've called you into, but don't be overwhelmed by it. It's best to start small. Give a cool cup of water to someone who is thirsty, for instance. The smallest act of giving or receiving makes you a true apprentice. You won't lose out on a thing."
Matthew 10:40-42 (Msg)

"Are you living your life in a mindset of convenience or consequence?" Mark Beeson, "Risky Business" Sermon Feb. 16-17

“This is not a game, ... Debt has become a part of who we are. It's become that spoiled child in the grocery store with their lip stuck out: 'I want it. I want it. I deserve it because I breathe air.' And, well, that's an uphill climb in our culture right now, to go against that and say, 'Hey, let's be grownups here. Let's be mature, learn to delay pleasure, save up and pay for things.' . . . I call this the great misunderstanding--the idea that we give because churches need our money . . . Financial peace isn't the acquisition of stuff. It's learning to live on less than you make, so you can give money back and have money to invest. You can't win until you do this.”
Dave Ramsey

"Don’t underestimate your influence. How you live matters. What you do is important. So put on your Big Boy pants and grow up; the weight of your witness depends on it." Mark Beeson

Gulp

I grew up with a bully brother
so I learned to gulp anger down like tart medicine
to keep the peace lingering and my parents smiling
big bro grew up and collected his anger
like steel tools he can hold in his hands
he now uses them to fix things
and bring justice overseas
bully turned hero, victim turned fan
I have my own smile of pride for genius redirected
But I was a late bloomer with a bad habit
a swallowing gulp
and a stomach ache
then as a teacher I got a taste
of the good anger my brother already found
as I loved my students so much it hurt
crashing into bullies by their lockers or in their offices
who couldn't see the innocent faces in the middle
of the statistics and detention slips
or a caste system that seemed unbreakable
now You've turned the page
a new job that provides a big huddle
of younger and older brothers who look out for me
but old habits resurface when you're uprooted
even if it is from a pot to the earth
there's a new bully in town
flashbacks to a gulping little sister hiding in her room
clutching a care bear and talking to You
but maybe it's just me
are You teaching me patience
or riling me up for action?
I need You to mark the spot between
selfish anger and Your call for restoration
between depravity and justice
because the gulping is giving me
another stomach ache
and all I want to do is
help my new bros do what they do best
and keep pointing people to You
-gulp-


"What else is anger than the impulsive response to the experience of being deprived. When my sense of self depends on what others say of me, anger is a quite natural reaction to a critical world. And when my sense of self depends on what I can acquire, greed flares up when my desires are frustrated. Thus greed and anger are brother and sister of a false self fabricated by the social compulsions of an unredeemed world."
Henri Nouwen, The Way of the Heart

"Cain's anger defined him. What you do with your anger defines you, but what does it look like when you express Godly anger? Get angry. Let God rile you up a bit. Just let it be for the right things, and God will use it for restoration." Jason Miller, "Do Not Murder" Sermon 2/14/08

"Then Jesus asked them, "Which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?" But they remained silent. He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, "Stretch out your hand." He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored." Mark 3: 4-5

Lovin' Him in the Homonyms

it all started with a fumbling compliment . . .

"Cody: "You're really observable . . . uh, I mean observant." (sheepish grin) "well, you're pretty observable, too."
Me: (trying to play it cool, but screaming on the inside like a junior high girl at a boy band concert) "um, so how's your summer going?""

then You showed me we're the ultimate complement . . .

"Me: (first day of classes in the fall, highlighted schedule, map of campus, color coded folders and textbooks in tow) So when's your first class today?
Cody: (puzzled, suddenly realizing what day it was) I don't know.
Me: Didn't you get your schedule?
Cody: I was . . . just . . . gonna go. "

Thank You for giving me this
perfectly-prescribed man
who knows how to make me laugh after an MRI
coming out to me nervously shaking in my sticky seat
and announces to all in ear shot
(with a sigh) "Well, the good news is
I do have a brain."
who knows how to play Barbies
better than any other former fullback
who used to run over people like a train
then help them up and pat them on the back
who knows how to love me in silence
and look at me better than any chick flick ending
from that first compliment
to the ever-growing complement
thank You for every moment
of our 12 year

Homonym journey

"To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband." 1 Corinthians 7:10

"What a happy and holy fashion it is that those who love one another should rest on the same pillow." ~Nathaniel Hawthorne

Wishing Well

they're waiting
between the cushions
in the bottom of drawers
about to slide through the grates
into the gutters
between the rocks
and hard places
floating aimlessly
in a puddle of complacency
or clinking in our pockets
close at hand
but we're planning
to take our hands
out of our pockets
to seek, search, hunt
for each and every
lost coin
so we can throw them
into the fountain of You
and the best news is
You're not just a wishing well
we're ready for the chase
eager for the party
a bunch of hard core coin collectors
who will never be content
just sitting still and
wishing well

"20 years ago the goal was to get the community into the church. We're ready for the next chapter. The new goal is to get the church into the community."
Mark Beeson, "One Church . . . Where You Are" sermon Feb. 9-10

"The Story of the Lost Coin"
"Or imagine a woman who has ten coins and loses one. Won't she light a lamp and scour the house, looking in every nook and cranny until she finds it? And when she finds it you can be sure she'll call her friends and neighbors: 'Celebrate with me! I found my lost coin!' Count on it—that's the kind of party God's angels throw every time one lost soul turns to God."
Jesus in Luke 15:8-10 (Msg)

"As with most of Jesus's parables, the story compels the hearers to put themselves in the picture and thereby discover the truth about Jesus--and about themselves. The parable is told to make a specific point: This is why there's a party going on . . . God's kingdom is happening right under your noses, and you can't see it." N.T. Wright, Simply Christian

There You Go in my Favorite Show

I love finding You in Lost places
seeing You in man-made masterpieces
breathless humanity in the questions
dangling carrot answers shrink to hints
on a slinky coil of truth
that can stretch as far as you pull it
the living room blurrs from view
as we travel inside the box
of an out of the box story
like Alice and her looking glass
we gasp at our own reflections
criminals who found love
men just trying to fix things
people with pasts
that flood back in every time it rains
and we're all wondering who can be trusted
we're all waiting to be rescued
as we live together, die alone
and never stay put for too long
chasing after and running from You
on this big green and blue island
but for those once lost, we found
it doesn't have to be so scary
the Church isn't just a corporate experiment
You aren't the monster they think You are
and the rescue
already happened


"What does God have to do to get your attention?"
Rose ("SOS" Lost)

"Spirituality on the island, as in our outer world, includes many different beliefs, and the expressions of spiritual faith vary as much as the individuals who profess these widely ranging beliefs. Lost's many characters wrestle with their interpretations about what is happening on the island and whether a Divine Creator, a large corporate entity , the Dharma Initative, the Others, the Monster, or nothing at all is running the show."
Lynette Porter and David Lavery, Unlocking the Meaning of Lost

"In recent American surveys, as many as 95 percent of people have professed they believe in God or a higher power--they just can't seem to agree on what that higher power is. In Lost, this dominant view is the position taken as well. God 's existence is not disputed. Yet defining God is left for the viewer to answer."
J ohn Ankerberg and Dillon Burroughs, What Can be Found in Lost

"The lifeboat goes out to the rescue, and the captain gets drowned in the process . . .With Jesus, God's rescue operation has been put into affect once and for all."
N.T. Wright, Simply Christian

"For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost." Luke 19:10

BzzzZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!

for most Americans
injustice is just a fly buzzing
easily swatted by changing
the channel
the location
the station
the subject
but on 911 he flew up our noses
and this weekend he came back
buzzing around in there
and driving us crazy
thank You for the disturbance
the awakening
and for not letting him fly in our ears
so we can hear You
whispering what we should do next . . .
as for me
all I have to offer is words
help me chase new ways to use them
to give life
plant some fruit trees
fight for justice
and bring heaven and earth together
because You've called us to so much more
than lying around
like a bunch of flyswatters

“And the key theme, which points on from the great poetry of the Old Testament to the astonished delight of the New, is the renewal of the entire cosmos, of heaven and earth together." NT Wright, Simply Christian

"We are God's plan for justice, and there doesn't appear to be a back up plan." Rob Wegner, "Justice For All" sermon Feb. 2-3, 2008

"Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit – you choose." Proverbs 18:21 (Msg)

Frosty Sabbath Sunrise

"We must, if it so happens, give our lives for others: but even while we're doing it, I think we're meant to enjoy Our Lord and, in Him, our friends, our food, our sleep, our jokes, the birds' song, and the frosty sunrise."
C.S. Lewis, The Collected Letters, Volume II

silence used to scare me
like some white wigged English judge
with too much truth in thick files
that he'd make me read in front of You
but then I found a paradox
freedom in the sentencing
permission to stay in pajamas all day
instead of playing traffic frogger
to embrace his embrace without "to do" list in hand
saying i love yous that don't really mean good-bye
to watch the shivering birds outside the kitchen window
and let the dishes tower beneath my gaze
to lie on the floor on our tummies
for fairy tea parties and endless plots
less reminders to hurry and more forehead kisses
to replace the heat of the teetering laptop
with the cool arch of Your word
ah . . . much better

"Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy." Exodus 20:8

"We left the sabbath in the dust of our schedule, but Sabbath is really your chance to show God you believe Him when He says "I got it!" Dr. Bob Laurent, New Community 1/31/08

The Shovel

a man walks along the road with a shovel
like squinting at those gloppy inkblots
perception defines reality

a pessimist predicts his cemetery destination

wondering who's left widowed this week

an optimist smiles at the old gardener

confident the seeds shake in his pockets

the dramatic paranoid produce mafia crime dramas

in the silver screens behind their eyelids

the practical blink away and find comfort in his task

of the much-needed retention ditch

the child thinks he might be headed for a big beach

and hopes he meets a friend with a big pail

the egotists don't even see him

and the apathetics don't even care

and all the while I keep wondering

what truth he might find

if he just digs a little deeper


"The optimist's pleasure was prosaic, for it dwelt on the naturallness of everything. The Christian pleasure was poetic, for it dwelt on the unnaturalness of everything in the light of the supernatural. The modern philosopher has told me again and again that I was in the right place, and I had still felt depressed even in acquiescence. But I had heard that I was in the wrong place, and my soul sang for joy, like a bird in spring." GK Chesterton, Orthodoxy


Then Jesus turned to the Jews who had claimed to believe in him. "If you stick with this, living out what I tell you, you are my disciples for sure. Then you will experience for yourselves the truth, and the truth will free you." John 8:30-32

"Come near to God and He will come near to you." James 4:8

"You can't have intimacy without honesty. Yes, He already knows, but be honest with God. There's the real freedom." Dr. Bob Laurent, "Spirituality Sells" sermon 1/26-27

Cookie Dough or Princess Catnip?

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who had a strange curse put upon her. Every night at about the same time, she would turn into the most curious little creature. So her mother, the queen, decided to investigate. Thus, her father, the king's favorite snack soon had to be renamed "Princess catnip" . . .


I love how weird You made her . . .
thanks for an awesome job that allows me
time to laugh and love her
sugar highs and all . . .


Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, "The LORD has done great things for them." Psalm 126:2

Year in Re . . .Phew!

One year in four minutes and it rhymes . . . WHAT?!!!!
the toughest assigment I've ever had reminded me how real You are . . .
as You whispered in my ears down to my heart and out the clicking fingertips
bless DC , Dustin, and Ben this week as they turn this rough-around-the-edges rhyme
into a masterpiece.


"the LORD has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes." Psalm 118:23


2006 had its kicks, like a perfect brownie mix
we all thought it can’t get better than this
but let’s kick this into gear, the royal premiere, one calendar year
of bringin’ up there down here.
The new year came at us like a spinning wheel,
a time to reveal what’s ideal vs. real,
crazy life lessons in a TV show, 24 hours of seeds to sow,
not just Sundays fadin’ into Mondays by midweek you’re callin’ it done days
but God in every second, every minute,
no matter how you spin it, He just wants to be in it.
When dreams aren’t the same as who we became,
we stopped playing games and wrote three names,
too busy climbin’ ladders to see there’s nothin’ sadder
then people thinkin’ they don’t matter,
so we started takin’ inventory as story after story
pointed to His glory.
Springtime gave us a front row seat to a brand new beat of a marriage complete.
But it’s a sticky life when marital strife feels a little more like a twist of a knife,
honesty left us with a raw feeling, but kept revealing a chance at healing.
When husband and wife started talking now and then,
women and men learnin’ to love again.
And we all looked up and said an Amen.
We looked backed down and suddenly found
a cartoon town but when we looked around,
our proud thick skin started to wear thin
when we saw we’ve been the real enemy within.
Bitterness, revenge, insecurity frustration,
gossip conversations, creeping temptation
dangled, finding ourselves tangled, strangled in a sticky web.
We were about to despair at all the wear and tear,
but found there’s a God who cares and won’t leave us there.
Out of the web into a crazy game show,
we say we want to grow, but then we don’t know,
cuz you can’t tear apart the wallet and the heart,
it all depends on who bends and spends
so we looked through the lens of some little M&MS.
We committed one time to a dollar’s dime and felt sublime
cuz talk can be cheap but me and my peops,
took a big leap like wakin’ up from a sleep.
Taking part in something bigger pulled a trigger
for more God hellos, summer goes with the flow like a stained glass window,
or a grand piano in the hands of a master who took disaster
and turned into a pastor.
When warm Thursday nights, illuminated lights
of selfish cookie bites, and brought us to new heights of knowing Him,
new depths like a coal miner, getting’ out of our recliners
into the fire of the refiner and got to know the real Designer.
There were new beginnings at the summer’s end,
when we invited friends, to really comprehend
a life worth dying for, too many choices in the candy store
leavin' us feelin’ like a prisoner of war
but they found so much more when they walked through that
big door.
We cheered and cried at the man who died and took a little ride
to see judgment repealed, and beauty revealed on the unlikely spot of
a baseball field.
But after home plate, there’s no time to wait,
cuz Monday’s fate brings us straight . . . back to the office
where we ask what is this takin’ care of business
when the jerks at work are drivin’ us berserk
the pressure to compete, leaves us somewhere between defeat and conceit.
But just when we were feelin’ a little like a spinning fan,
we had coffee with a man who gave us the real game plan.
Then we heard from another how he learned to love his mother
and really started thinking how to love one another,
episodes of Tv shows with zeroes to Heroes
makin’ us think we were on the brink cuz you just might be the link
to a bigger plan, so be a man, take a stand, and just lend a hand.
From new TV’s to old movies, we learned from the best what a parent should be,
Feelin’ like a chauffer, or more like a gofer,
suckin’ the life out, just wanna take the wife out,
the kids complain with bulgin’ neck veins,
drivin’ me insane, then we got to hear from a brain,
I know its seems bizarre, but we were just shootin’ par,
he told us to take charge, now daddy’s livin’ large.
Then we took a trip to forty years ago, I say good bye and you say hello,
but they’re askin’ the same stuff we still want to know,
same stones hurled, same questions swirled,
nothin’s gonna change my world,
but there’s something to say for lookin’ back at yesterday,
and here comes the sunny day
when we can see the solution, hope redistribution,
in a peaceful revolution.
We stood still in the glory, new territory for an age old story,
good news proclaimed and we will never be the same
when we all pass the flame,
cuz can’t you see there would be no debris if we can all agree
and just . . . let it be.
Wow, what a year, you’re here, the engineers, sincere pioneers.
I’m a big fan, cuz it’s you and me, man, we’re just part of His plan.
And I know you can relate, when I say I can’t wait
to see what’s on His plate for 2008!
So there’s my rhyme, son,
man, what a run, I may be done, but
He’s only just begun.

Apples, Apples, We all Fall Down

men may fall like apples

smooth, fiddling, frantic

looking up and wondering how they got there

blind to the other apples laying alongside them

because we all fall

it's just easier for those of us that trust You

to pick us up and make something delicious

this year has been rough for the men I respect and love

when lies are welcomed like thieves at the dinner table

but a few mistakes don't make you a failure

just like a few trips to the ice rink don't make me Sasha Cohen

the past keeps screaming in their heads

a padded cell of what if's and why didn't I's

but You and I know calendar squares to the left aren't really the ones in charge

no matter what I say or do

I can't seem show them it's the ones to the right that matter most

but when the mistake feels like a volcano

and they can see the lava scars on the people they love

grace is a tough pill to swallow

a big apple tree they can't quite wrap their arms around

let alone their minds and hearts

the Apostle Paul was a royal pain in his donkeys behind

before the road to Damascus, but we didn't leave him there

we don't just label him the jerk who never could get that stupid thorn out of his side

he's a hero, a leader, and he failed again and again

and they just can't see it

I'm hurting for them, with them, close and from a distance

I'm asking for Your help on this

because they just can't see the orchard for the trees . . .

"A man cannot think himself out of mental evil; for it is actually the organ of thought that has become diseased, ungovernable, and, as it were, independent. He can only be saved by will or faith . . . the man must stop thinking, if he is to go on living. Their counsel is one of intellectual amputation [by spiritual healing]." GK Chesterton, Orthodoxy

"No! We believe it is through the grace of our Lord Jesus that we are saved, just as they are."

(Paul in Acts 15:11)

However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace. (Paul again in Acts 20:24)

"I'm not hear to tell You what to do, God. I just want to be close to You when You do it." Dr. Bob Laurent, New Community 1/17/08

Kickin' Back Old School

three days with the man I love
and even though opposites attract
sharing our love for nature means
more raucous laughter
more lingering gazes
and the only soar muscles
are in our cheeks from smiling
as we inspected Biff the Buffalo head
and his unfortunate companions on the wall
they must have been scared and shocked
when their peaceful worlds exploded
I can relate
sometimes I feel like I turned a corner
and found myself in a marathon
swept up in the current of rushing people
the modern day salmon run of American life
thank you for three days with my dream guy
and time to find You in the silent pages
with Chesterton and Lewis
speakin' my native tongue
when I grin in agreement and look up
to see you in the aged wood
and antique necessities turned novelty decor
reminding me of a simpler time
and a natural pace of life
like the flicker of a fire
that flows like the waves of wood grain
who, when they see a knot,
just keep moving and grow around it
but we can't stay forever
in a log cabin time warp
and the inboxes are piling up expectations
tapping their toes and watching the clock
until we return
so in the meantime
we'll just keep trying to grow around the knots
gliding side by side


" . . . we need this life of practical romance; the combination of something that is strange with something that is secure. We need so to view the world as to combine an idea of wonder and an idea of welcome . . It is the happy man who does useless things; the sick man is not strong enough to be idle . . . If the madman could for an instant become careless, he would become sane." G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy


" . . . be made new in the attitude of your minds, and put on the new self . . . " Epesians 4:23-24

"The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is."
C. S. Lewis

" . . . the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds . . . " Phil. 4:7

Painting a New Year

I love that look when she paints
with freedom in the task
and beauty in the mess.
Too many eyes
see the mess and not the beauty.
I made a lot of mistakes this past year
that make me cringe and
tempt me to a hermit life on Walden pond
But this new year will live up to it's name.
No more obsessive resolutions
that make the finish line smaller on the horizon.
No more instant replays of conversation failures
that lead to resolutions of silence.
No more imperfection searches
like a long line airport annoyance.
No more spinning clock hands
of trying to saw the sawdust.
No more debris swept under the rug
because maybe the real monument is in the rubble.
Take this mess and
Paint a new year with me
move me like a brush
to reveal whatever You have in mind
and as messy as it might seem
help me to rest and call it beautiful.


"There is only one way on God's green footstool that the past can be constructive, and that is by calmly analyzing our past mistakes and profiting by them--and forgetting them . . . don't try to saw the sawdust." Dale Carnegie

"We are meant to be living monuments of God, that our lives would be something that people point to and say "that's what God looks like". The whole world's watching and they have no idea what God looks like unless they see it in you." Jason Miller (paraphrased from New Community Message 1/3/08)

"The stone the builders rejected
has become the capstone;
the LORD has done this,
and it is marvelous in our eyes.
This is the day the LORD has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it."
Psalm 118:22-24

"God has given us not so much the colors of a picture as the colors of a palette. Be he has also given us a subject, a model, a fixed vision. We must be clear about what we want to paint." GK Chesterton, Orthodoxy