Stick to It

"Don't sit there watching the wind. Do your own work. Don't stare at the clouds. Get on with your life. Just as you'll never understand the mystery of life forming in a pregnant woman, So you'll never understand the mystery at work in all that God does. Go to work in the morning and stick to it until evening without watching the clock. You never know from moment to moment how your work will turn out in the end. Before the years take their toll. Oh, how sweet the light of day, And how wonderful to live in the sunshine! Even if you live a long time, don't take a single day for granted."
Eccelsiastes 11:4-8a

Spring break is right around the corner
and the countdown begins
Lord, help me to stick to it
live right now right now
and glorify You in every precious moment.
I can still change lives and bring them closer to You-
even in the two weeks before spring break.

Table Talk

"Friends, don't complain about each other. A far greater complaint could be lodged against you, you know. The Judge is standing just around the corner." James 5:9

"No more cosmetic Christianity – we’re not strapping the righteousness meters to our external behaviors anymore. We’re strapping those righteousness meters to our hearts. Jesus can make us righteous to the core - grace invaded core. " Rob Wegner

I got sucked in today Lord.
Sucked into the table talk.
I laughed at the jokes, agreed with the whining, and chimed in with the speculations.
Like Pavlov and his bell, the approval addict overruled the savior.
Lord, refresh my heart with You and your Holy Spirit.
Let me be offended again and quiet at the right moments.
not to be concerned with the details and the actions,
but with the heart.
It's Yours, lord, and I'm sorry I misused it today.
Forgive Me.
Make me righteous to the core--
a grace-invaded core.

Woof, woof, Oink, oink

"Don't give holy things to dogs, and don't throw your pearls before pigs. Pigs will only trample on them and dogs will turn and attack you." Matthew 7:6

I love how You just said these big things and left us guessing.
There's so much here--so timeless, vast, so universal.
Images and questions burst and dance
like popcorn when the heat is just right.
Jenny who gave her virginity away to early
Because her daddy left too soon.
Marshall who gave his future away to his "boys"
because they just needed some quick cash.
Heather who kept the baby as her new toy
as a couple's hopes crashed
like a freight train through an empty nursury.
Chris who gave up on school
because his teachers gave up on him.
Or were you just telling us to use our time wisely?
To invest our efforts in things that last?
or our money in things that pay off?
Was it a comment about frugality?
generosity? common sense?
Some might say
life is like a math problem, or even a puzzle.
There is only one right answer,
but there are many ways to get there.
I agree that You are the only answer
and there are many ways to get to You,
But, to be honest, I was bored in Math, Lord.
I got straight A's, but it just seemed too easy.
I'd prefer life as a poem, a vague ambiguity,
an endless chasm of wisdom unchartered.
But that's why I love You so much--You're both.
A simple answer and a never-ending chase
Where art and science combine
male and female complement
and especially
when God became man.
Thank you Lord,
for the gift of mystery
and the comfort of absolutes.

Just Call Triple A

"Be careful! When you do good things, don't do them in front of people to be seen by them. If you do that, you will have no reward from your father in heaven . . . When you pray, don't be like the hypocrites. They love to stand in the synagogues and on the street corners and pray so people will hear them . . . your giving should be done in secret. Your father can see what is done in secret, and he will reward you." Matthew 6: 1a, 5a, and 4

"Those who suffer from the 'Disease to Please' . . . feel the uncontrollable need for the elusive approval of others like an addictive pull." Dr. Harriet B. Braiker

My name is Kristin Baker, and I am an approval addict . . .

As a child, I thrived on attention,

living my life for the next fix

which was somewhere between

"Aww . . . she's adorable!"

And

"She's only how old?"

As a teenager, I played the comparison game

when B's were failures

perfection was just another pound away

and theatre was relief

because I got to be anyone but myself

even just for a moment.

For there was always a curtain call . . .

But if Shakespeare was right and

"all the world's a stage",

then who will applaud?

The pattern monster is alive and kicking,

But You are stronger, Lord.

Help me to live for an audience of One,

For the applause comes only after the entire play is finished.

but with You, the end is only the beginning . . .

"Welcome to Approval Addicts Anonymous"

I've been sober for, uh, two minutes . . .

is that good?

Salt Shaker

"Let me tell you why you are here. You're here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You've lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage." Matthew 5:13 (Msg)

"Think about what salt does: IT MAKES PEOPLE THIRSTY; IT SPICES THINGS UP; IT'S A PRESERVATIVE; IT ENHANCES FLAVOR." Rob Wegner

At home, at work, everywhere I go,
may I be a salt shaker.
Making people thirst for You,
Like eating oreos with no milk
Spicing things up so people wake up from a life without purpose,
like an alarm with no snooze button.
Preserving the truth of Your word in the midst of moral decay
Like beef jerky on Survivor, but I brought enough to share. : )
Enhancing the flavor of You in this world,
like when I bring out the best in my husband, my students, my little girl.
Lord, at home, at work, everywhere I go,
may I be a salt shaker for You.
(Chicka- Chicka)

Wildfire

"In a powerful way the word of the Lord kept spreading and growing." Acts 19:20

A quick word today: I love my church!

Over 7, 000 people attended last weekend after the billboards and website that created a buzz on the coming of a new series on sex-- a topic often taboo in church even though it is directly addressed frequently in the Bible. Sex is a major issue--stats of pregnancy rates, std's, the widespread wealth of the pornography industry . . . the list goes on and on. I am so thankful for a church that, like Christ, tackles the big issues.

Thank you, Lord, for bringing us to a church with a heart for the lost, that embraces the Arts as a medium for Jesus and his message. Today, I pray that you will bless all the staff at GCC. This was a big win for You and the church; the enemy's not going to be happy.

Much like the first church and the original disciples, the story of Jesus is once again speading like wildfire. I love it when history repeats itself!

Brick Wall

"I was unsure of how to go about this, and felt totally inadequate--I was scared to death, if you want the truth of it-- and so nothing I said could have impressed you or anyone else. But the Message came through anyway. God's Spirit and God's power did it, which made it clear that your life of faith is a response to God's power, not to some fancy mental or emotional footwork by me or anyone else." 1 Corinthians 2:3-5 (Paul on leading the church)

"Simply because we were licked a hundred years before we started is no reason for us not to try to win." Atticus Finch in Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird

"All in all you're just another brick in the wall." Pink Floyd

Public education is a fickle thing
An undeniably flawed system
with good intentions--sounds familiar.
Where "No child left behind" is a paradox
and "high school" has a double meaning.
Where the students feel like
just another brick in the wall--
The same wall the teachers beat their heads against.
When "one of those days" means the system won
You got caught in the machine again.
But there are these magical moments--
where lightbulbs flicker, mouths turn up,
and they chew on a sense of accomplishment and purpose.
One hundred and twenty-nine souls
enter and leave my classroom each week.
One hundred and twenty-nine.
How can I possible help them all?
How could I possibly reach all of them?
How could I possibly show them that
each and every one of them matters to You
that You have a purpose for their lives,
a reason You created them.
Answer: I can't.
You can.
No "fancy mental or emotional footwork" will do it--
Only You.
In the meantime, with your help, I'll keep trying.
I may be up against a wall,
but I can see it, and it's not brick.
It's stone-each one it's own shape, color, and mass.
Thank You, Lord, for creating these amazing kids
All One Hundred and Twenty-nine.

The Bacon

"God will use his wonderful riches in Christ Jesus to give you everything you need." Phillipians 4:19

"Being a provider appears to be at the core of a man's identitity as a male and as a person of worth . . . For a man, bringing home a paycheck is love talk, pure and simple. He has something to prove ("I can take care of you, I am worthy of you) and he wants to deliver." Shanti Feldhahn, For Women Only

The lightbulb has been flickering for some time
But it finally lit up today.
The pressure, the focus, the dedication to his work--
it's not a replacement for me
it's not a competitor for my time
it's not some mistress who steals his attention
it's a gift, an offering, a duty to his family.
An everpresent task that
calls like a siren in traffic
flails like someone waiting to be rescued
and taps its fingers impatiently
just waiting for him to measure up.
Something You dropped in the concoction
At the creation of the male species.
When a bad mood is not just a bad mood,
ESPN is therapy, everything is a problem to solve,
eating what you kill makes it taste better,
a paycheck is a love note,
and isolation brings peace.
Thank You, Lord for my manly man
who was created in the image of You
--our ultimate provider.
Guide him and comfort him
As he seeks Your will in how he can
Bring home the Bacon.

Cloud Rider

Psalm 68:4
"Sing hymns to God; all heaven, sing out; clear the way
for the coming of Cloud-Rider.
Enjoy GOD, cheer when you see him!" (Msg)

I wonder what riding on the clouds is like?

Perhaps a bit like sledding

A gliding, sliding, rush of falling fun.

A wind-chilling, heart-thrilling dash

that holds your breath

pulls at your tummy

and lifts your mouth to a gaspy grin.

Thanks, Cloud-rider, for the gift of winter games that remind me of You.

Mike's Quest

Lord, Be with Mike today.
He is just like Solomon.
Right now, all he can see is smoke.
He thinks death will bring silence
--an end to the smoke, peace and quiet.
Help him, like Solomon, to get
to the place where he understands
that it's not all just smoke.
There is purpose.
There is joy.
There is You.


Ecclesiastes 1
The Quester

1These are the words of the Quester, David's son and king in Jerusalem:

2Smoke, nothing but smoke. [That's what the Quester says.]
There's nothing to anything--it's all smoke.
3What's there to show for a lifetime of work,
a lifetime of working your fingers to the bone?
4One generation goes its way, the next one arrives,
but nothing changes--it's business as usual for old
planet earth.
5The sun comes up and the sun goes down,
then does it again, and again--the same old round.
6The wind blows south, the wind blows north.
Around and around and around it blows,
blowing this way, then that--the whirling, erratic wind.
7All the rivers flow into the sea,
but the sea never fills up.
The rivers keep flowing to the same old place,
and then start all over and do it again.
8Everything's boring, utterly boring--
no one can find any meaning in it.
Boring to the eye,
boring to the ear.
9What was will be again,
what happened will happen again.
There's nothing new on this earth.
Year after year it's the same old thing.
10Does someone call out, "Hey, this is new"?
Don't get excited--it's the same old story.
11Nobody remembers what happened yesterday.
And the things that will happen tomorrow?
Nobody'll remember them either.
Don't count on being remembered.

I've Seen It All 12Call me "the Quester." I've been king over Israel in Jerusalem. 13I looked most carefully into everything, searched out all that is done on this earth. And let me tell you, there's not much to write home about. God hasn't made it easy for us. 14I've seen it all and it's nothing but smoke--smoke, and spitting into the wind.

You think you've seen it all, Mike.
I admit it's mostly true.
You are truly a modern day "quester."
Your experiences are amazing,
your accomplishments unparalleled.
Bicycles, BMW's, bureaucratics,
And the pursuit of perfection;
but I know how Vietnam haunts you;
I know how much your children love you.
Your friend was right:
Hope is the difference between the living and the dead,
but it's not the only one.
You don't have to feel like a walking dead person anymore.
Just ask your son.
He'll tell you that, besides you, there's another great father he knows
who has
the answers to your questions
the beginning of purpose
the end to your loneliness
a freedom from nightmares
and a joy unimaginable.
Keep searching. Keep questing.
And I'll keep praying and leaving my classroom door open.

Schedule Change

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me--watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." Matthew 11:28-30

Course: Abundant Life 101
Instructor:Jesus
Textbook: The Bible
Focus: Red Lettered Text
Classroom: GCC
Study Groups: Small group twice a month
Other Notes:
Private tutors (honor students) are available on Thursday nights and weekends; childcare is provided.
Cliff notes are available in most local bookstores, though the instructor prefers study of the textbook itself.
Copying off of spouses, family members, or peers is not considered cheating.

To the Wolves

Paint grace--graffiti on the fences; take in your frightened children who are running from the neighborhood bullies straight to you." Psalm 17:7 (Msg)

He grew up in a world of fight or flight--daddy was a drug dealer, mom a survivor. One of the fastest runners in the state. His secret?-- intense training in his neighborhood running for his life. We worked with him until he realizes his gift on the track was his ticket out. But he had to buy his ticket with passing grades. We worked so hard to get him on track. One incident in the cafeteria, and he was expelled. He was cornered like an animal, accused of something he didn't do. He tried to explain; the principal wouldn't listen. Everything was black and white until he saw red. The alternative school is full--we're throwing him to the wolves over a numbers issue? Lord, is there a such thing as loving anger, rage of justice, integrity-filled fury? Lord, I place him in your hands. My modern day Daniel in the lions' den--but the scary thing is, Daniel knew You. Daniel had faith. All my student has are his fists and an open spot in his daddy's business.

The Score Card

"Love . . . doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others." 1 Corinthians 13:5

I had a dream 2 nights ago.
In the 3rd row of a stranger's funeral,
I marveled at the eulogy.
An avid golfer chasing the perfect score
had collapsed on the green,
His ball 5 inches from the cup on the 18th.
His wife was reading his score card
in attempt to determine his eternal fate.
But it was not simply his golf game she scrutinized . . .
Apparently, he sliced it when he
kicked his daughter out of the house at 17.
But he recovered for a bogey by paying for her wedding.
He hit it in a water hazzard with an affair in '92,
But his wife granted him a mulligan.
He overshot the green when he stole a candy bar
From a local store when he was 16,
But used his pitching wedge to recover by
always over tipping at restaurants.
He buried his ball in a bunker with
the drunken fight of '84,
But pulled through for par by
mowing his elderly neighbor's lawn.
As she continued with the list,
the panic in her voice rose.
You could sense her mind racing.
Searching for answers on the score card.
She awkwardly held a tiny pencil wondering
why they didn't have erasers.
Would he spend eternity in a sand trap--
Hitting the same ball over and over
as it returned to the same spot?
Or had he made a hole in one
and headed back to the clubhouse
For a relaxing lunch with his buddies?
Would he see his dad? his best friend he lost 3 years ago?
Our old dog max? would he still have back pain?
The swirl of thoughts seemed to boil over
and force the tears to fall
like the rain she'd pray for that day
so he'd postpone his tee time
and cuddle just a little longer.
But there wasn't a cloud in the sky . . .

and then I woke up.

There's nothing worse than a funeral of unbelievers,
of people who haven't met you, haven't heard Your amazing story of hope, mercy, and forgiveness. Thank you, Lord, for tearing our score cards
and loving us even if we're not quite up to par.

Fences

John 10:1[ He Calls His Sheep by Name ] "Let me set this before you as plainly as I can. If a person climbs over or through the fence of a sheep pen instead of going through the gate, you know he's up to no good--a sheep rustler! (Msg)


Every year I teach the play Fences by August Wilson. I ask the students this question: "What is the purpose of a fence?"

Some answer "to keep animals or people inside"

Others reply "to keep bad things out."

I am often entertained by their debate as it settles into a philisophical discussion about fear and trust.

Then we read a quote by the main character Troy Maxson who says,
“Death ain’t nothing. I done seen him. Done wrassled with him. You can’t tell me nothing about death. Death ain’t nothing but a fastball on the outside corner. And you know what I’ll do to that! Lookee here, Bono…..am I lying? You get one of them fastballs, about waist high, over the outside corner of the plate where you can get the meat of the bat on it… You can kiss it goodbye…………………..That’s all death is to me. A fastball on the outside corner."
And then I ask the question: "How do you feel about death?"

And that's when we sneak in . . .
The supreme court tried to put up a wall to separate church and state. Keep Christ out of the schools--he's taboo, dangerous, politically incorrect. But it wasn't really a wall . . . just a fence. Sure it takes effort to climb, but you can see through it and reach through to the other side. I'd like to think of myself as a sheep rustler, only I'm stealing back the sheep to return them to their owner-like the fence-hoppin', mind-poppin', law toppin' Robin Hood of the public school . . .

I may not be able to tell anyone the true purpose of a fence. I guess I'm "on the fence" on that issue (wink, wink), but I thank You, Lord, that I wouldn't miss a beat if asked about the purpose of me.

The Weighting Game

"What good is it for a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his very self?" Luke 9:25

The crowd falls to a low murmer as I take the court
Who signed me up to play this sport?
In center court, a scale waits for me
Like an evil nemesis with a master key.
Candy wrappers rustle in the stands
No, that was pompoms in cheerleader hands
"Mirror, mirror on the wall!
Show me thighs that are getting small!
Fat rolls, stretch marks, cellulite!
You can do it! Go! Win! Fight!
Low carb, low fat, Zone, South Beach!
Bariatric, medicinal leach!
Yoga, Pilates, Step, Tae Bo!
You can do it! Fight! Win! Go!
Whatever it takes to look your best!
You're much fatter than all the rest!
You'd be just perfect if you could be thin!
You can do it! Go! Fight! Win!"
Lord, I'm tired of eratic training
Teeter totter, losing and gaining
Say yes to this, Say no to that
Eyes shift, will they think I'm fat?
Suck in, hide it with baggy clothes,
Dodge the camera, so no one knows.
Standing on the sidelines, take a deep breath
The game of comparison only ends in death.
I walk out of the gym as the crowd stays in shock.
Just take stroll around the block.
I talk to You and feel the wind shifting
Thanks for redefining the word:
"weight lifting"

Right Now Right Now

"Let's do right now right now." Angela Williams

25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6: 25, 31, 33-34

We dash through the day,
the ticking, the tocking, the fast paced walking
Chasing or running, we just keep gunning,
Never stopping to watch the corn popping
-- just wait for the beep.
Living in "then", again and again
Words mispoken, pieces broken,
Pursuing the past, like a plaster cast,
--but it looks so real.
Living in tomorrow, hapiness borrowed,
to do lists "check", wait "just a sec"
when's dinner? , perfect web spinner
--to get ahead of the game.
Oh, just to live for the day, breathe in and say
Relax and rest, in Your Holiness,
Like a child with his dad, a summer day sketch pad,
--and do right now right now.

A Hero Turned 51 Today

 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting

but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

Proverbs 31:27-30

Most picture superheroes in tights and capes
Who change in phone booths with a grin on their face.
They can leap tall buildings in a single bound
And rescue small children who nearly drown.
With bulging biceps these men of steel
Cause women to faint and children to squeal.
They can prevent crashes by stopping a train
And save all the passengers on a pilotless plane.
They seem normal until a need arises
Then off go the glasses for masked disguises.
But I knew a hero in jumpers and blouses
Who  bravely kept love in five different houses.
She couldn't leap buildings in a single bound
But could sleep so light to hear the baby's slightest sound.
At the sound of a cough, she could climb twelve stairs.
She often swallowed her feelings to make more room for theirs.
She probably couldn't stop fast-moving trains
But could lovingly endure all the dinner complaints.
For years, she simply did all she could
To love her children and teach them to be good.
She kissed them goodnight and taught them to pray
Even when they didn't put their all toys away.
She could take a temperature by the palm of her hand,
And pass out four dinners while driving a mini-van.
She didn't save a town or rescue a city
In fact, she didn't even think that she was very pretty.
But she did save a family and did her duty
While never really seeing her own true beauty.
She wrapped her approval up in just one man
And struggled to prove to be his biggest fan.
When the enemy came to steal and destroy,
She clung to her hope and found a new joy.
For only when she had to face a repeated past,
Were her superhero powers finally unmasked.
She still places her hope in just one man
But this one died on a cross with nails in his hands.
I just wish I'd seen or wish I'd known
I was living all those years with a silent hero.
There are storms that will rage, but she will still stand.
Like a mighty palm tree planted deep in the sand.

Setting Defaults

"I love the Lord, because he hears
My voice and my supplications.
Because He has inclined His ear to me,
Therefore I shall call upon Him
as long as I live." Psalm 116-1-2

Everyone has a default mode--
A pattern, a natural reaction, a frequent trend.
You are asked to "set defaults" on a computer--
demanding consistency, automatic compliance, an expected result.
Lord, help me set my default to prayer--
a pattern, a natural reaction, a frequent trend.
In this engine-failing, people-wailing,
Fast-revolving, problem-solving,
Fast-racing, break-neck-pacing world,
Let me default to You.

The Magic of Storytelling

"A picture is worth a thousand words."
But to a three year old, a story is worth a thousand pictures. I love how the phrase "made in His image" means I can see you in other people. After all, you were the original story teller. Thank you for that glorious past time past down by You and Cody's father, with stories from a dusty childhood in Virginia, the gritty life of a railroad man, and that compelling tale of a bad boy turned believer who heard the best story of his life on a Norfolk and Southern deisel bound for Peoria. Poor Cody, such testosterone driven stories have now been overshadowed by princesses, fairy dust and way too much pink.
Right now, she loves to dress up,
re-create,
and enact her favorite fairy tales.
With a magic kiss from her knight in shining white t-shirt, the spell is broken.
I'm looking forward to the day when she will choose to
live out,
re-create,
and enact
Your true story of hope.

The only really true story of happily ever after.

In the meantime, Lord, thanks for the entertainment

and the magic of storytelling.

The Big Game

Notre Dame Vs. Ohio State
Translation:
My dad's team vs. my husband's team

I guess this is what they mean by leave and cleave. (Mark 10:7)

Despite, my husband setting the world record for holding your breath, and even with Lauren yelling "GO IRIS! GO IRIS!" in the background, the Buckeyes defeated our beloved Irish by two touchdowns. I often wonder how You feel when people pray for the outcomes of athletic events. Either way, thanks for giving my two favorite guys a vicarious battle and 100 yards of adventure.