Saturday, December 15, 2007

Duct Tape, Broken Glass, and a Puppy

A Duct taped mouth
may keep you nice and silent and safe
but you don't get to eat much.
this business of pretending
like a boulder on the chest
we smile with a step back
questions with more questions
in the polite dogfight of evasion
until the bell rings and the subject is changed
an age old tradition in the church
it used to be that trouble in your life was sin
you just need to find the mouse in your house
and the problem will go away
like old hymns rearranged to rock out
we've updated the ritual to our iWorld
where fear of rejection and duct tape are married
under a pretty stained glass mosaic
that's really just a bunch of broken pieces
who came together to make something beautiful
but sandy friendships always slipped through my fingers
I never knew an empty hand could hurt so much
was it something I said, something I did?
You're the one who held my empty hand
and when something slips through
You pour out a little more, endless refills
cool and smooth like fingers in the ocean
You're the one who never leaves
the sun who comes up every morning
You're the only place where
pretending doesn't make sense.
But with people,
Your gift of free will makes me nervous
like a puppy at Christmas.
As soon as you open the box,
there goes the carpet, the furniture,
and I'll end up falling in love
with something I know can't last forever
it's quieter in my house with no puppies
so I listen and I love them one-sided, all the while
You're the only One I really talk to
one broken piece with a little duct tape
but maybe I'll never be a part of something beautiful
until I trust them like I trust You
but every bounce out on the limb
feels like one bounce away from the fall
every time I speak
the duct tape loses it's stickiness
the glass might scratch someone
and you can't put the puppy
back in the box

"Repressing and stuffing and refusing to acknowledge never works . . . We have to get it out or we all begin to die on the inside. Some of the most comforting words in the universe are 'me too' . . . Love is handing your heart to someone and taking the risk that they will hand it back because they don't want it. That's why it's such a crushing ache on the inside. We give away a part of ourselves and it wasn't wanted." Rob Bell, Sex God

"Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you." Nelson Mandela

"Our churches are filled with people who outwardly look contented and at peace but inwardly are crying out for someone to love them… just as they are — confused, frustrated, often frightened, guilty, and often unable to communicate even within their own families. But the other people in the church look so happy and contented that one seldom has the courage to admit his own deep needs before such a self-sufficient group as the average church meeting appears to be. " Keith Miller

"Pretending is the grease of non-relationships . . .When you and I stop pretending, we expose the pretending of everyone else. The bubble of the perfect Christian life is burst, and we all must face the reality of our brokenness. " Michael Yaconelli, Messy Spirituality

"Let's not pretend this is easier than it really is." Matthew 5:29A (Msg)


amberWIRE said...

Hi Kristin! Thanks so much for your note on my blog. I know there are lots of people out there feeling the way I do, and it makes me want to do something about it. I'll be praying for you too...and looking forward to more of your beautiful writing.


Sarah Koutz said...

Yes we should get together soon. Perhaps over break. I have to get my car fixed so plans are a little up in the air.

Sherry Ingle said...

Awesome post Kristen...I say Amen!!