Red-faced Excuses

"And now, children, stay with Christ. Live deeply in Christ. Then we'll be ready for him when he appears, ready to receive him with open arms, with no cause for red-faced guilt or lame excuses when he arrives. Once you're convinced that he is right and righteous, you'll recognize that all who practice righteousness are God's true children." 1 John: 2: 28-29

Feet shuffle in the piercing silence
What should I do with my hands?
"I meant to, Lord, it's just . . . "
Excuses flood my mind
Swished back and forth as I shake my head
Like the current in a small Bathtub
I sway from side to side
Not enough time
Too much to do
Everyone needed me
No one understood
Always behind
Never ahead
Who would take care of it?
Who would get it done?
Who would . . . ?
I force myself to look in His eyes
a flash of 6 hours on a cross
Traps the words, all that's left is
"Forgive Me"
A jolt--
The cool of my sheets falls down my arms
and I thank God for another day