Sunday, April 12, 2009

A Week of Lessons: Easter Sunday

my 30 Easters with You
reveal an emerging and quirky story
of how Your bold steps out of an empty tomb
pulled my slow, shy steps out of the shadows
from paralyzed fear and dragging heals to a dance of joy in sun
that first Easter was a snapshot of a nine month old baby
probably sleeping on the floor behind the organ
is some frilly Easter pastels and patten leather
tiny eyes peeking at mommy's feet on the peddles
and hearing daddy's voice lead the congregation in a lullaby hymn
five years later you'd see a bubbly pig-tailed grin
under a white floppy hat with matching purse
skipping from one white-haired lady to another
for "oohs and awes" at my twirling dress
and some free bubble gum fished out of purses
a princess in a steepled castle
and the pews were my playground
but something happened in those next years
a hole in the story where the process is blocked out
like a blurred face or bout with amnesia
the music shifts for that 12th Easter
like that pulsing heartbeat screechy violin in a horror movie
as the victim's hand shakes and reaches for a doorknob
maybe it was a new city, new career for dad, new everything
knocking awkward knees hidden under a guise of invisible
layered in dull colors of grays and tans
back row of the church, singing harmony in a whisper
feeling a ball of ice in my throat that could melt into tears
if I didn't keep swallowing and keep my face hidden in the pages
a simple shyness let loose into a Tasmanian devil
of anxiety that sewed the lips shut
brought on chest pains and doubled-over stomach aches
and asked mom and dad to order for me at restaurants
but I ran to You in my diary prayers
in the safety of my messy bedroom
and jumped inside elaborate costumes
in the safety of a fantasy stage
and You started something new, something bigger
than a hand-me-down truth from mom and dad.
Zooming through the sands of time to today
sitting at my desk, grinning with peace, surrounded by people
as I listen to the team I love celebrating You
6 services, lots of fingerfoods, good conversations & skip-bo,
dancing a dance once again like that five year old princess
or an uncivilized king who wrote a few poems himself
trying to ignore those old fears that try to steal it all away again
but then You remind me of that evolving story of our Easter dance
from too scared to order at restaurants
to leading a team of superstars
only You...

I can't wait to see what You have in mind for my little girl
and all her Easters to come
I wonder what Your steps out of that tomb
will lead her to
and I hope she'll share with me
those secret anniversaries of her heart
her own private holy days with You
for this Easter
and many more to come.

"The holiest of holidays are those kept by ourselves in silence and apart: the secret anniversaries of the heart." Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"For the devout Jew, the calendar was more the a way of marking time. It provided a timely way to commemorate God's dealings in the life of the nation. The month of Nisan marked the Passover, the time of Israel's deliverance from Egyptian bondage. Sivan brought the feast of Pentecost, the celebration of another bountiful harvest from God. Tishri took the people back to their wilderness wanderings through the Feast of the Tabernacles. Each holiday became a holy day--a time of recalling, repenting, and renewing old commitments to follow the God of Israel. Holidays really can be holy days. The word holy means set apart for divine services or purposes. Our modern calendar can remind us as believers to commemorate what God has done for us."
Lenya Heitzig and Penny Rose, Live Fearlessly

"Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it! All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and him, and then called us to settle our relationships with each other. God put the world square with himself through the Messiah, giving the world a fresh start by offering forgiveness of sins. God has given us the task of telling everyone what he is doing. We're Christ's representatives."2 Corinthians 5:17-19 (Msg)

1 comment:

...greg smith said...

Wow. Vibrant description of the connective tissues between your lives. The recognition of the impact you felt from moving cities is especially poignant. Your poetic transparency continues to be refreshing...thanks.