A Work of Art

"I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born." Isaiah 44:2a

I saw You in Lauren's Art class this weekAs she created a collage of her three year old self-image
Cutting, placing, pasting, smoothing
I smiled at the process,
the pictures she chose,
the arrangment she made.
It was just so . . . Lauren

The teacher said "Try to paint a flower."
But Lauren had other ideas.
I saw the wheels turning . . .
"Can I make Rapunzel with the flower, Mommy?"
My smile was permission enough
As she swirled the paintbrush in deliberate, delicate strokes

I saw that familiar look again, the look of an artist.

I have that same look when I write or scrapbook or create anything from scratch.
It's like going to a different place, a thrilling yet peacful place.
I wonder if You had that same look in those seven days of creation.
I wonder if You had that same look when you sculpted her in the womb.
As her wrist sways and the colors blend,
different questions emerge in the rainbow hues:
Nature verses nurture?
How much of her is Me?
How much of her is her daddy?
How much of her is You?
How much of her is her?
No words, no scrapbooks, no brilliant portrait I would attempt to create
Could ever capture the true essence of what you've given us
Only You know the intricacies of her soul
She is truly a work of Art.

Christmas Look and Find: Where' s Jesus?

"And she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn." Luke 2:7

The innovative book "Where's Waldo?" ushered in a new craze
Picture books with tiny objects buried in a cluttered haze
My daughter loves these new "look and find"s
Her little eyes hunt and gather to feed her curious mind.
Can you find Ariel in her frenzied Undersea world?
Will the mommy in the grocery store find her little girl?
Where is Elmo hiding on that busy Sesame Street?
Can you help Dora find the yellow boots for her monkey's feet?
As Christmas rapidly approaches, I tumble into another page
Buried in tinsel, candy canes, and cards up to my rib cage.
I wade through paper snowflakes, ornaments, and lights,
In the maze of commercialism, there are no silent nights,
Early bird specials, reindeer horns, jingle bells and holly,
Giant inflatable snow globes, plastics santas who look jolly,
Barbie cars, spiderman, and Cinderellas's castle,
Crinkled brows and turned-down mouths tighten with the hastle,
Carols blare, car horns honk, children whine for toys,
Somewhere in the chaos is a tiny baby boy.
Lord, help me find the manger scene, the shepherds, and Bethlehem star
Remind us again of what it was that made us who we are.

Just in Time

"Up on your feet! Take a deep breath! Maybe there's life in you yet. But I wouldn't know it by looking at your busywork; nothing of God's work has been completed. Your condition is desperate. Think of the gift you once had in your hands, the Message you heard with your ears - grasp it again and turn back to God. "If you pull the covers back over your head and sleep on, oblivious to God, I'll return when you least expect it, break into your life like a thief in the night." Revelation 3: 2-3

Every year, teachers wonder why we chose this profession-why we volunteered to be ignored, told off, and buried in a mountain of papers to grade, standards to use, and new policies to remember. Usually Christmas break is a good reminder, but this year, for me, it was a letter- a letter that helped me "pull down the covers" and begin again renewed! Here are some highlights:

"Baker,

Out of all the teachers I've encountered, you're so real. I'm pretty sure the way you are at school is the way you are at home--fun, outgoing, caring, honest . . . you're the same bright person everywhere you go, qualities found in Jesus . . . The main reason I will remember you is because Jesus dwells in your heart, and it comes across in ALL areas of your life. Man, I hope God blesses you like you bless others. I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
God Bless,
Josh
P.S. Look up my life verse-Joshua 1:5"

I did:
"No one will will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you."

I just love it when I learn more from my students than they do from me! Thank you Lord, for students like Josh. Thank You for all my students, even the ones that fall asleep, talk when I'm talking, and throw paper at eachother in the middle of a test. They're still your babies and I have the privilege of caring for them for a while--even if it is only ninety minutes every other day. Help me to make those ninety minutes a reflection of the love of Christ. Thanks, Josh, for the reminder to get back to work--the work of God, that is. And thanks for reminding me of the true reason for the season.

Sunday School Lessons are easier when you're 5

"A kindhearted woman gains respect."
Proverbs 11:16a

When I was five, I went to Sunday School,
They said "Do what the lifeguard says at the swimming pool.
Listen to your teachers, and do as you are told,
Always listen to your parents or anyone who's old.
Be good, little girls and boys and make Jesus proud.
Don't make a fuss, and try not to be too loud.
When you get bigger, you'll need to listen to your boss,
And follow the law, watching street signs before you cross."
But then you grow up, and they tell you "no prayer in school",
You can't say "Merry Christmas" but you can say "April Fools"!
Now I sit in my boss's office for a yearly evaluation,
And he says "You just can't have success without some aggression!"
He thinks I'm too soft on them and that I care too much
But it seems to me he cares more about ID's and rules and such.
I want to be a good, little girl and smile and be polite.
But I also want to be like Jesus and stand up for what is right.
I want to be respectful and do as I am told,
But I love these kids too much to yell and scream and scold.
After all, most of them hear plenty of yelling at night.
Anger is a close companion in their world of fight or flight.
But love is something that some of them seldom get to see
And forgiveness and second chances are rare like integrity.
Lord, help me find a balance between "employee" and servant of God,
But even if I get in trouble, I will gladly face the firing squad.
When I think of all the sacrifices of the saints if old,
How Daniel, Joseph, Esther, and Paul refused to do as they were told,
I understand the gift I've been given and the opportunity
To prove my love for You like You did for me.

Happy Birthday

(to the tune of the birthday song)
Happy birthday to you,
You're no longer two,
I wish you were still a baby,
But I'm happy you grew.

When "X" isn't in its spot

"Because men often feel left-handed romantically, they are incredibly sensitive to criticism or teasing. One man said flatly 'You tease me about not quite getting the candle-lit dinner right, that's it--it'll be five years before I try it again.'"-Shaunti Feldhahn, For Women Only

"Many suggest that married couples need to schedule their quality time by going on 'dates'. Then the date is ok- but somehow we're just too tired to have a great time. But the unscheduled reminiscing . . the spontaneous discussion about life . . . the conversations about our future together . . these draw us closer together." James R. Wilkes, Family By Design

There once was a sweet husband
With a lightbulb above his head!
"I'll take her out on a date!
Then she'll be happy instead!"
So he called for a babysitter.
All the arrangements were made
Until he told his wife the plan
Then all the excuses were made.
"We don't need to go to a concert!
We don't need to spend any money!
I just like being with you!
Let's do something else, honey!"
He blinked his eyes and stuttered
Befuddled by this new plan.
He thought she would be flattered
But she just complained to this poor man.
So the babysitter came
And they decided on a bookstore.
But there was no where to sit!
They didn't want to read on the floor!
So around the town they traveled
Looking for something to do.
They tried to think of something
But they always disagreed, these two!
Without ever deciding
Time was up! Their date was done!
They headed home to pay the babysitter
Without ever having any fun!
The man felt discouraged
And wanted to give up.
He cried "Maybe we're too old
For this romantic stuff!"
But the next day he kissed his wife
And told her he was sorry.
He knew you don't always see a lion
On your first safari!
So by doing the dishes and listening,
He finally won her heart.
He knows it may not work tomorrow,
But at least he has a place to start . . .

Walking Dictionary

"So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover's life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God." Philippians 1:9-11

"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get--only what you are expecting to give--which is everything." Katherine Hepburn

"Hubands are like fires. They go out if unattended." Zsa Zsa Gabor

Ok, so Zsa Zsa's not the greatest role model, but she has a point. I can see his flame dwindling. And after watching my parents end their 31 year marriage, I run to You for the definition of a healthy marriage. Like a scheduled checkup for someone who has just lost a friend to some unexpected disease-- I want to do things right and be prepared for anything.

Lauren is almost three now. She is like this sensory sponge--making conclusions about aspects of life from my actions. I'm her walking dictionary --along with fairy tales and her favorite disney princess movies and old musicals. She has begun to read to us now--ending each book with "happily every after. the end." But we, Cody and I, are defining "happily ever after" for her every day, every moment, even when I'm tired, even when "it's been a rough day".

But, Lord, I don't want to rebuild our love for her sake alone. I want him to be happy, to feel honored, respected, admired, fulfilled--empowered. Most of all, I want to honor You. I want the girls in my class to know the life of a Christian women is full of love, romance, joy, adventure. After all, that is Your will for all of us-- life of joy and purpose lived for You. A walking dictionary of Your love--your "happily ever after" redefined by a baby in a stable who became a man on a cross.

Unseen Earthquake

"Children expand the family but do not complete it. God joined Adam and Eve together. Marriage is God-ordained! In fact, it is well said that the strength of all other relationships in the family is dependent on the husband/wife relationship." James R. Wilkes, Family By Design

"Therefore what God has joined together, let man (or chidren) not separate." Matthew 19:6

It's the temptation every mother faces
The pedestal has a new silhouette
It used to be the outline of a man
The promise of everlasting romance
The shape of a life-long love
The shadow of a best friend turned hero,
The hope of an eternal wedding veil.
Yet somehow, unintentionally,
By the unseen earthquake of baby born,
He topples, usurped, dethrowned, cast off,
He regains his balance,
Only to find himself on the floor.
Replaced by a tiny form
Balancing delicately on a tall tower
Of wipe warmers, breast pumps,
Diapers, burp clothes, pacifiers,
Soft fleece blankets and sleepless nights.
She doesn't mean to,
But a lot of people don't mean to sin.
Forgive me, Lord, and help me
Restore Your true vision of family.
Break my heart, heal his wounds,
Take Your rightful place,
And bring us all back together.

Thanksgiving

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever." Psalm 107:1

Thank You, Lord,
For a family divided coming together
Four generations at a table for six
For turkey stuffing and stuffing turkey
For mashed potatoes and rising rolls
For the gentle clinking of silverware
For the sound of multiple conversations
For passing the plates counterclockwise
For belts taken out a notch
For clocks that seem to slow down
For time to really look at eachother
For spoiling grandparents and
For parents who get to be kids again
For frosted windows and warm wool socks
For the long-awaited tree in the corner
For the calm before the storm of shopping
For reminding us of the reason for these holidays
For a pregnant woman on a donkey,
And the gift of hope for all of us,
Yes, even for great grandpa who forgot his hearing aid and accuses us all of mumbling.
Thank you for this Thanksgiving.

First Snow

"(gasp) I'm so excited mommy, It's just like Christmas!" ~ Lauren Baker

"And he said: 'I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven'." Matthew 18:3

I love re-living every moment with the added insight of a two year old. If she would not have been by my side this morning, I would have rolled my eyes at the coming weeks of slow-driving, windshield scraping, grey-slushed-puddle-splashing, and the monotonous countdown to the holidays. But again, Lauren brings me back to the truth of God's blessings, the joy of life, and the promise of adventure around every corner. Thank you, lord, for my walking , skipping, pony-tailed, giggling, 24 hour bible study application--yes, even when the playdoh is ground into the carpet and the car has cheerios in places I didn't even know existed. Thank you, Lord, for the gentle spirit of my little girl.

Horizon-Chasing

2 Relax, everything's going to be all right; rest, everything's coming together; open your hearts, love is on the way! Jude 1: 2

The open field yawns into the line of the horizon
I could run as fast as I could, sprinting to exhaustion,
Reaching, chasing, and collapsing in the end
From the rock growing in my chest.
I know. I've tried.
But I'd never possess it, I could never hold it in my hands.
So I stand, enjoying the breeze, savoring the vista,
Though the storm clouds hover and the bares trees loom,
The sun caresses the horizon with Your promises,
Like when I push Lauren's hair from her eyes as she sleeps,
Full of wishes, love, and a whisper
the whisper of hope.

Focal Point

"Faith . . . is simply an expression of confidence in the person and character of God . . . Pursuing a God-ordained vision is an act of worship. It is a declaration of our confidence in God. It is a proclamation of how important we believe his agenda to be. And God is honored . . . God-ordained visions ultimately lead back to God. Regardless of our role, we are never the focal point of a genuine God-ordained vision. He is." Andy Stanley, Visioneering

"And the king granted them to me because the good hand of God was on me." Nehemiah 2:8

One quick word today:

Well, three-

I trust YOU.

Dream-giver

"Success is remaining faithful to the process God has laid out for you . . . not the raise, promotion, recognition, Christian home, or wonderful children. These are simply enjoyable mile markers along the way. Success is staying faithful to the process that contributed to those things becoming a reality." Andy Stanley, Visioneering

"Men judge us by the success of our efforts. God looks at the efforts themselves."-- Charlotte Bronte (1816-55), English novelist, poet, "Jane Eyre"

As I watched my two year old princess point her toes and dip them in an imaginary stream, she sings
"What I like most about rivers is, you can't step in the same river twice. The water's always flowing, always changing."
She has painted her surroundings with her eyes, and our living room is now an ancient forest. I smiled and throw a soft pillow at her tummy. She giggles, topples, recovers and continues
"Just around the riverbend!"
The rest of the room takes on slight blurr and she seems framed in a soft light. And I know this is one of those moments-- those unexpected, odd, tiny, minute moments where You show up, Lord.
"Can I ignore that sound of distant drumming?"
You are calling me to something. I can feel it. We've been talking about this for months, years. But the vision is getting closer, more concrete, more focused. As I yearn for the success of the vision, help me to appreciate the process, the journey, the path.
"Should I choose the smoothest course, steady as a beating drum?"
I can see I have a ways to go; it doesn't look easy, God. I could never do it alone.
"Or do you still wait for me dream-giver, just around the river bend?"
I smile again, hug my little girl, and kiss her cheek. She smells like cotton candy and fresh linen. Poor Pocahontas, she just didn't know her dream-giver was with her the whole time.


2 Timothy 2
"So . . . throw yourself into this work for Christ. When the going gets rough, take it on the chin with the rest of us, the way Jesus did. It's the diligent farmer who gets the produce. Think it over. God will make it all plain." 2 timothy 2: 1,3,6-7

Shout Out to Nehemiah

"Nehemiah knew what so many of us have hard time remembering: What could be and should be can't be until God is ready for it to be. So he waited."
Andy Stanley, Visioneering

Lord, help me to learn from Nehemiah
Filled with passion, a vision, and the tools,
Dealing with his burden day and night,
Yet waiting on your timing.
Chistmas eve for four months!
Praying without ceasing,
Seeking You before acting,
Patience, a constant companion.
And when the time came,
He knew what to say, do, and complete.
Lord, in these restless nights,
The uncomfortable moments in the land of in-between,
help me to learn from Nehemiah
And enjoy Christmas eve.

"When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven. Then I said: "O LORD, God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with those who love him and obey his commands, let your ear be attentive and your eyes open to hear the prayer your servant is praying before you day and night." Nehemiah 1:4-6a

"The king said to me, "What is it you want?" Then I prayed to the God of heaven, and I answered the king, "If it pleases the king and if your servant has found favor in his sight, let him send me to the city in Judah where my fathers are buried so that I can rebuild it." Nehemiah 2: 4-5

Paintbrush Pressure

"Visions are born in the soul of a man or woman who is consumed with the tension between what is and what could be. Anyone who is emotionally involved--frustrated, brokenhearted, and maybe even angry--about the way things are in light of the way they believe things could be, is a candidate for vision. Visions form in the hearts of those who are dissatisfied with the status quo." Andy Stanley, Visioneering

"Before you were born, I set you apart for a special work." Jeremiah 1:5b

The canvas of my future is changing.
I stand beside the easel, alarmed by my pallette of white.
After years of perfecting this image
With the most delicate strokes, the thinest of brushes,
I stand with trembling hand, holding a wide brush dipped in white.
I take one last look at the vision of a teacher
Her head filled with dreams of changed lives
Her heart full of passion for the souls of her students
Her mouth seems to say "I can make a difference."
I touch the brush to the canvas
But pull away as if on a hot stove.
Is this really what you want, Lord?
I start from the bottom,
Leaving the eyes for last.
I look at my former reflection but can feel us drifting apart.
Perhaps we'll meet again someday.
One last stroke, and she's gone.
I take a step back and
Suddenly, the grieving ends, the fear subsides, and I remember
Sixth grade when a blank piece of paper held endless possibilities
A story of adventure, a crayon world of beauty, a mystery yet revealed.
Thank You, Lord for this new beginning.
I will follow where You lead.

Saving the City and Dealing with Dirtbags

"There's nothing glamorous or fulfilling about filling bags with dirt. But saving a city is another thing altogether. Building a dike gives meaning to the chore of filling bags with dirt. And so it is with vision." ~ Andy Stanley, Visioneering

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." 1 Cor 10:31

Lord, help me remember the vision of a wife and mother. The privilege of the role I was born to fill. The pleasure of nurturing, loving, and blessing their lives. Remind me in the laundry, the bills, dishes, time outs, whining, testing, arguing, vacuuming, toilet cleaning, shower scrubbing, dusting, socks by the couch, trash on the counter, cheerios in the car--it's all just filling bags with dirt. Remind me, I'm saving a town. I'm saving my family. I'm filling these bags so Lauren can fulfill Your purpose for her life and see the joy in her own future role of wife and mother. I fill another bag so Cody can be the man You envision him to be and carry out Your mission for his life. But mostly, I fill these bags for You. Because your the One who saved us all.

Gotta Hand it to You

"You need to know, friends, that thanking God over and over for you is not only a pleasure; it's a must. We have to do it. Your faith is growing phenomenally; your love for each other is developing wonderfully. Why, it's only right that we give thanks." 2 Thesselonioans 1:3 (Msg)

Lord, thank you for being everywhere I am and everywhere I'm not.
For having your loving, all-knowing, sculpting hand in everything
For holding the hands of missing people on the postcards that I consider junk mail.
For peering in at me, reaching to me, touching me through the little things
Like sock-skating on the kitchen floor with Lauren, hands out for balance
Knuckle-nosed shadow puppets in flashlight stories under blanket tents
The patchwork of fall colors that canopy the commute, like hands that block out a blinding sun,
The precise blend of words a gestures Cody uses to make me laugh,
That boyish look where his index finger points to his bottom lip,
How his hand rests perfectly in the small of my back
How my hand rests on the back of his fuzzy neck
How Lauren's hand fits around my thumb and his middle finger.
How Your hand is in all of it.

Mr. Incredible

"Home is the most important place for a man to be affirmed. If a man knows that his wife believes in him, he is empowered to do better in every area of his life." Shaunti Feldhahn, For Women Only

He may seem like just another red-blooded American, but no! His hidden strengths are endless. Under the guise of your typical husband and father, this man has the heart and talent of a true hero!

Able to melt his wife's heart with a single stare! (lover-vision?)
Able to wrestle the strongest of two year olds!
Able to run countless errands in a single day!
Able to balance numerous projects with just one mouse-clicking finger!
Able to edit mesmorizing effects in the blink of an eye!
Able to tame even the most viciuos of clients!
Able to withstand endless hours of nagging!
Able to love his siblings through their repeated mistakes!
Able to dream of the future while taking care of the present!
Able to stay up all night caring for a sick child!
Able to attend numerous church services in a single week!
Able to treasure the good times with his father!
Able to change even the smelliest of diapers!
Able to keep quiet during nap time, even when Notre dame is playing!
Able to clog a toilet in a single sitting!
Able to unclog a toilet with a flick of the plunger!
Able to love his wife though thick and thin (literally)!
Able to survive in a one-car household!
Able to write the most original scripts!
Able to keep the Word in his heart!
Yes, folks, it's Mr. Incredible!
Humble like Christ!
Bold like Paul!
and
as handsome as . . . Himself!
By night- Cody Baker, super-snoring teddy bear
By day-Mr. Incredible!

(It's a shame he had to marry that Bullhorn lady . . . the good ones are always taken!)

Bullhorn Lady

"Maybe your bullhorn is in your home where you preach so people will do what you want them to do and do things the way you want them to be done." ~Pastor Mark Waltz

(fist to mouth)"Oh, snap!" ~Me

I look at you, bullhorn guy, from a safe distance
Rolling my eyes at your angry persistence.
Did you just skip all those verses on grace?
How can you scream with that look on your face?
You warn them that they will all go to hell
If they don't listen to the "good news' you tell.
What good news? That God is coming to "get" them?
That there's some cosmic Santa Claus waiting to condemn?
Telling them all what's wrong with their lives
Advertizing their faults like a set of Ginzu knives.
But then my hand slips and I notice the cut
My teeth hiss breathing in and I realize what's what.
My day flashes back in these quick little scenes
"I told you the living room is not the place for Jeans!!!"
"Lauren, don't do that, you're making a mess!"
"Don't you know towels go on permanent press?"
"I can't believe you're late. Why didn't you call?"
"Play with your daughter instead of watching football!"
Like driving in the rain, I suddenly can't see
For the one holding the bullhorn--is me.
Forgive me, Lord, for letting the guise of perfection
Dictate my thoughts like a hidden infection.
Let love rule my home like the house on the prairie
No more Martha, I want to be Mary.

"As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." Luke 10: 38-42

Yo Baby's Daddy

What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it - we're called children of God! That's who we really are. But that's also why the world doesn't recognize us or take us seriously, because it has no idea who he is or what he's up to. 2 But friends, that's exactly who we are: children of God. And that's only the beginning. Who knows how we'll end up! What we know is that when Christ is openly revealed, we'll see him - and in seeing him, become like him. 3 All of us who look forward to his Coming stay ready, with the glistening purity of Jesus' life as a model for our own. 1 John 3: 1-2 (Msg)

"Mrs. Baker! He ain't my boyfriend--he just my baby's daddy!" ~Anonymous Student

Just? You know, they leave out the part about teenage parents in your undergrad education courses. . . They don't tell you that you'll be giving parenting advice, be invitied to baby showers and be answering questions about mucus plugs to fourteen year old girls. But there is one thing, thanks to God and my parents, that I've always known- loving others. If there's one thing besides the meat of the gospel that I've taken away from going to GCC, it's compassionate love for other people. These poor kids are just doing the best they can with what they have been given--sounds familar. They are all God's babies. The man yelling in traffic, the woman that hits her toddler, the kid who sits in the back and refuses to pay attention, the bill collector who talks down to me because I can't pay what they want me to this month . . . but it's okay because I know these "babies' daddy", and I can trust in His perfect plan.