The Bacon

"God will use his wonderful riches in Christ Jesus to give you everything you need." Phillipians 4:19

"Being a provider appears to be at the core of a man's identitity as a male and as a person of worth . . . For a man, bringing home a paycheck is love talk, pure and simple. He has something to prove ("I can take care of you, I am worthy of you) and he wants to deliver." Shanti Feldhahn, For Women Only

The lightbulb has been flickering for some time
But it finally lit up today.
The pressure, the focus, the dedication to his work--
it's not a replacement for me
it's not a competitor for my time
it's not some mistress who steals his attention
it's a gift, an offering, a duty to his family.
An everpresent task that
calls like a siren in traffic
flails like someone waiting to be rescued
and taps its fingers impatiently
just waiting for him to measure up.
Something You dropped in the concoction
At the creation of the male species.
When a bad mood is not just a bad mood,
ESPN is therapy, everything is a problem to solve,
eating what you kill makes it taste better,
a paycheck is a love note,
and isolation brings peace.
Thank You, Lord for my manly man
who was created in the image of You
--our ultimate provider.
Guide him and comfort him
As he seeks Your will in how he can
Bring home the Bacon.

Cloud Rider

Psalm 68:4
"Sing hymns to God; all heaven, sing out; clear the way
for the coming of Cloud-Rider.
Enjoy GOD, cheer when you see him!" (Msg)

I wonder what riding on the clouds is like?

Perhaps a bit like sledding

A gliding, sliding, rush of falling fun.

A wind-chilling, heart-thrilling dash

that holds your breath

pulls at your tummy

and lifts your mouth to a gaspy grin.

Thanks, Cloud-rider, for the gift of winter games that remind me of You.

Mike's Quest

Lord, Be with Mike today.
He is just like Solomon.
Right now, all he can see is smoke.
He thinks death will bring silence
--an end to the smoke, peace and quiet.
Help him, like Solomon, to get
to the place where he understands
that it's not all just smoke.
There is purpose.
There is joy.
There is You.


Ecclesiastes 1
The Quester

1These are the words of the Quester, David's son and king in Jerusalem:

2Smoke, nothing but smoke. [That's what the Quester says.]
There's nothing to anything--it's all smoke.
3What's there to show for a lifetime of work,
a lifetime of working your fingers to the bone?
4One generation goes its way, the next one arrives,
but nothing changes--it's business as usual for old
planet earth.
5The sun comes up and the sun goes down,
then does it again, and again--the same old round.
6The wind blows south, the wind blows north.
Around and around and around it blows,
blowing this way, then that--the whirling, erratic wind.
7All the rivers flow into the sea,
but the sea never fills up.
The rivers keep flowing to the same old place,
and then start all over and do it again.
8Everything's boring, utterly boring--
no one can find any meaning in it.
Boring to the eye,
boring to the ear.
9What was will be again,
what happened will happen again.
There's nothing new on this earth.
Year after year it's the same old thing.
10Does someone call out, "Hey, this is new"?
Don't get excited--it's the same old story.
11Nobody remembers what happened yesterday.
And the things that will happen tomorrow?
Nobody'll remember them either.
Don't count on being remembered.

I've Seen It All 12Call me "the Quester." I've been king over Israel in Jerusalem. 13I looked most carefully into everything, searched out all that is done on this earth. And let me tell you, there's not much to write home about. God hasn't made it easy for us. 14I've seen it all and it's nothing but smoke--smoke, and spitting into the wind.

You think you've seen it all, Mike.
I admit it's mostly true.
You are truly a modern day "quester."
Your experiences are amazing,
your accomplishments unparalleled.
Bicycles, BMW's, bureaucratics,
And the pursuit of perfection;
but I know how Vietnam haunts you;
I know how much your children love you.
Your friend was right:
Hope is the difference between the living and the dead,
but it's not the only one.
You don't have to feel like a walking dead person anymore.
Just ask your son.
He'll tell you that, besides you, there's another great father he knows
who has
the answers to your questions
the beginning of purpose
the end to your loneliness
a freedom from nightmares
and a joy unimaginable.
Keep searching. Keep questing.
And I'll keep praying and leaving my classroom door open.

Schedule Change

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me--watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." Matthew 11:28-30

Course: Abundant Life 101
Instructor:Jesus
Textbook: The Bible
Focus: Red Lettered Text
Classroom: GCC
Study Groups: Small group twice a month
Other Notes:
Private tutors (honor students) are available on Thursday nights and weekends; childcare is provided.
Cliff notes are available in most local bookstores, though the instructor prefers study of the textbook itself.
Copying off of spouses, family members, or peers is not considered cheating.

To the Wolves

Paint grace--graffiti on the fences; take in your frightened children who are running from the neighborhood bullies straight to you." Psalm 17:7 (Msg)

He grew up in a world of fight or flight--daddy was a drug dealer, mom a survivor. One of the fastest runners in the state. His secret?-- intense training in his neighborhood running for his life. We worked with him until he realizes his gift on the track was his ticket out. But he had to buy his ticket with passing grades. We worked so hard to get him on track. One incident in the cafeteria, and he was expelled. He was cornered like an animal, accused of something he didn't do. He tried to explain; the principal wouldn't listen. Everything was black and white until he saw red. The alternative school is full--we're throwing him to the wolves over a numbers issue? Lord, is there a such thing as loving anger, rage of justice, integrity-filled fury? Lord, I place him in your hands. My modern day Daniel in the lions' den--but the scary thing is, Daniel knew You. Daniel had faith. All my student has are his fists and an open spot in his daddy's business.

The Score Card

"Love . . . doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others." 1 Corinthians 13:5

I had a dream 2 nights ago.
In the 3rd row of a stranger's funeral,
I marveled at the eulogy.
An avid golfer chasing the perfect score
had collapsed on the green,
His ball 5 inches from the cup on the 18th.
His wife was reading his score card
in attempt to determine his eternal fate.
But it was not simply his golf game she scrutinized . . .
Apparently, he sliced it when he
kicked his daughter out of the house at 17.
But he recovered for a bogey by paying for her wedding.
He hit it in a water hazzard with an affair in '92,
But his wife granted him a mulligan.
He overshot the green when he stole a candy bar
From a local store when he was 16,
But used his pitching wedge to recover by
always over tipping at restaurants.
He buried his ball in a bunker with
the drunken fight of '84,
But pulled through for par by
mowing his elderly neighbor's lawn.
As she continued with the list,
the panic in her voice rose.
You could sense her mind racing.
Searching for answers on the score card.
She awkwardly held a tiny pencil wondering
why they didn't have erasers.
Would he spend eternity in a sand trap--
Hitting the same ball over and over
as it returned to the same spot?
Or had he made a hole in one
and headed back to the clubhouse
For a relaxing lunch with his buddies?
Would he see his dad? his best friend he lost 3 years ago?
Our old dog max? would he still have back pain?
The swirl of thoughts seemed to boil over
and force the tears to fall
like the rain she'd pray for that day
so he'd postpone his tee time
and cuddle just a little longer.
But there wasn't a cloud in the sky . . .

and then I woke up.

There's nothing worse than a funeral of unbelievers,
of people who haven't met you, haven't heard Your amazing story of hope, mercy, and forgiveness. Thank you, Lord, for tearing our score cards
and loving us even if we're not quite up to par.

Fences

John 10:1[ He Calls His Sheep by Name ] "Let me set this before you as plainly as I can. If a person climbs over or through the fence of a sheep pen instead of going through the gate, you know he's up to no good--a sheep rustler! (Msg)


Every year I teach the play Fences by August Wilson. I ask the students this question: "What is the purpose of a fence?"

Some answer "to keep animals or people inside"

Others reply "to keep bad things out."

I am often entertained by their debate as it settles into a philisophical discussion about fear and trust.

Then we read a quote by the main character Troy Maxson who says,
“Death ain’t nothing. I done seen him. Done wrassled with him. You can’t tell me nothing about death. Death ain’t nothing but a fastball on the outside corner. And you know what I’ll do to that! Lookee here, Bono…..am I lying? You get one of them fastballs, about waist high, over the outside corner of the plate where you can get the meat of the bat on it… You can kiss it goodbye…………………..That’s all death is to me. A fastball on the outside corner."
And then I ask the question: "How do you feel about death?"

And that's when we sneak in . . .
The supreme court tried to put up a wall to separate church and state. Keep Christ out of the schools--he's taboo, dangerous, politically incorrect. But it wasn't really a wall . . . just a fence. Sure it takes effort to climb, but you can see through it and reach through to the other side. I'd like to think of myself as a sheep rustler, only I'm stealing back the sheep to return them to their owner-like the fence-hoppin', mind-poppin', law toppin' Robin Hood of the public school . . .

I may not be able to tell anyone the true purpose of a fence. I guess I'm "on the fence" on that issue (wink, wink), but I thank You, Lord, that I wouldn't miss a beat if asked about the purpose of me.

The Weighting Game

"What good is it for a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his very self?" Luke 9:25

The crowd falls to a low murmer as I take the court
Who signed me up to play this sport?
In center court, a scale waits for me
Like an evil nemesis with a master key.
Candy wrappers rustle in the stands
No, that was pompoms in cheerleader hands
"Mirror, mirror on the wall!
Show me thighs that are getting small!
Fat rolls, stretch marks, cellulite!
You can do it! Go! Win! Fight!
Low carb, low fat, Zone, South Beach!
Bariatric, medicinal leach!
Yoga, Pilates, Step, Tae Bo!
You can do it! Fight! Win! Go!
Whatever it takes to look your best!
You're much fatter than all the rest!
You'd be just perfect if you could be thin!
You can do it! Go! Fight! Win!"
Lord, I'm tired of eratic training
Teeter totter, losing and gaining
Say yes to this, Say no to that
Eyes shift, will they think I'm fat?
Suck in, hide it with baggy clothes,
Dodge the camera, so no one knows.
Standing on the sidelines, take a deep breath
The game of comparison only ends in death.
I walk out of the gym as the crowd stays in shock.
Just take stroll around the block.
I talk to You and feel the wind shifting
Thanks for redefining the word:
"weight lifting"

Right Now Right Now

"Let's do right now right now." Angela Williams

25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6: 25, 31, 33-34

We dash through the day,
the ticking, the tocking, the fast paced walking
Chasing or running, we just keep gunning,
Never stopping to watch the corn popping
-- just wait for the beep.
Living in "then", again and again
Words mispoken, pieces broken,
Pursuing the past, like a plaster cast,
--but it looks so real.
Living in tomorrow, hapiness borrowed,
to do lists "check", wait "just a sec"
when's dinner? , perfect web spinner
--to get ahead of the game.
Oh, just to live for the day, breathe in and say
Relax and rest, in Your Holiness,
Like a child with his dad, a summer day sketch pad,
--and do right now right now.

A Hero Turned 51 Today

 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting

but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

Proverbs 31:27-30

Most picture superheroes in tights and capes
Who change in phone booths with a grin on their face.
They can leap tall buildings in a single bound
And rescue small children who nearly drown.
With bulging biceps these men of steel
Cause women to faint and children to squeal.
They can prevent crashes by stopping a train
And save all the passengers on a pilotless plane.
They seem normal until a need arises
Then off go the glasses for masked disguises.
But I knew a hero in jumpers and blouses
Who  bravely kept love in five different houses.
She couldn't leap buildings in a single bound
But could sleep so light to hear the baby's slightest sound.
At the sound of a cough, she could climb twelve stairs.
She often swallowed her feelings to make more room for theirs.
She probably couldn't stop fast-moving trains
But could lovingly endure all the dinner complaints.
For years, she simply did all she could
To love her children and teach them to be good.
She kissed them goodnight and taught them to pray
Even when they didn't put their all toys away.
She could take a temperature by the palm of her hand,
And pass out four dinners while driving a mini-van.
She didn't save a town or rescue a city
In fact, she didn't even think that she was very pretty.
But she did save a family and did her duty
While never really seeing her own true beauty.
She wrapped her approval up in just one man
And struggled to prove to be his biggest fan.
When the enemy came to steal and destroy,
She clung to her hope and found a new joy.
For only when she had to face a repeated past,
Were her superhero powers finally unmasked.
She still places her hope in just one man
But this one died on a cross with nails in his hands.
I just wish I'd seen or wish I'd known
I was living all those years with a silent hero.
There are storms that will rage, but she will still stand.
Like a mighty palm tree planted deep in the sand.

Setting Defaults

"I love the Lord, because he hears
My voice and my supplications.
Because He has inclined His ear to me,
Therefore I shall call upon Him
as long as I live." Psalm 116-1-2

Everyone has a default mode--
A pattern, a natural reaction, a frequent trend.
You are asked to "set defaults" on a computer--
demanding consistency, automatic compliance, an expected result.
Lord, help me set my default to prayer--
a pattern, a natural reaction, a frequent trend.
In this engine-failing, people-wailing,
Fast-revolving, problem-solving,
Fast-racing, break-neck-pacing world,
Let me default to You.

The Magic of Storytelling

"A picture is worth a thousand words."
But to a three year old, a story is worth a thousand pictures. I love how the phrase "made in His image" means I can see you in other people. After all, you were the original story teller. Thank you for that glorious past time past down by You and Cody's father, with stories from a dusty childhood in Virginia, the gritty life of a railroad man, and that compelling tale of a bad boy turned believer who heard the best story of his life on a Norfolk and Southern deisel bound for Peoria. Poor Cody, such testosterone driven stories have now been overshadowed by princesses, fairy dust and way too much pink.
Right now, she loves to dress up,
re-create,
and enact her favorite fairy tales.
With a magic kiss from her knight in shining white t-shirt, the spell is broken.
I'm looking forward to the day when she will choose to
live out,
re-create,
and enact
Your true story of hope.

The only really true story of happily ever after.

In the meantime, Lord, thanks for the entertainment

and the magic of storytelling.

The Big Game

Notre Dame Vs. Ohio State
Translation:
My dad's team vs. my husband's team

I guess this is what they mean by leave and cleave. (Mark 10:7)

Despite, my husband setting the world record for holding your breath, and even with Lauren yelling "GO IRIS! GO IRIS!" in the background, the Buckeyes defeated our beloved Irish by two touchdowns. I often wonder how You feel when people pray for the outcomes of athletic events. Either way, thanks for giving my two favorite guys a vicarious battle and 100 yards of adventure.

A Work of Art

"I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born." Isaiah 44:2a

I saw You in Lauren's Art class this weekAs she created a collage of her three year old self-image
Cutting, placing, pasting, smoothing
I smiled at the process,
the pictures she chose,
the arrangment she made.
It was just so . . . Lauren

The teacher said "Try to paint a flower."
But Lauren had other ideas.
I saw the wheels turning . . .
"Can I make Rapunzel with the flower, Mommy?"
My smile was permission enough
As she swirled the paintbrush in deliberate, delicate strokes

I saw that familiar look again, the look of an artist.

I have that same look when I write or scrapbook or create anything from scratch.
It's like going to a different place, a thrilling yet peacful place.
I wonder if You had that same look in those seven days of creation.
I wonder if You had that same look when you sculpted her in the womb.
As her wrist sways and the colors blend,
different questions emerge in the rainbow hues:
Nature verses nurture?
How much of her is Me?
How much of her is her daddy?
How much of her is You?
How much of her is her?
No words, no scrapbooks, no brilliant portrait I would attempt to create
Could ever capture the true essence of what you've given us
Only You know the intricacies of her soul
She is truly a work of Art.

Christmas Look and Find: Where' s Jesus?

"And she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn." Luke 2:7

The innovative book "Where's Waldo?" ushered in a new craze
Picture books with tiny objects buried in a cluttered haze
My daughter loves these new "look and find"s
Her little eyes hunt and gather to feed her curious mind.
Can you find Ariel in her frenzied Undersea world?
Will the mommy in the grocery store find her little girl?
Where is Elmo hiding on that busy Sesame Street?
Can you help Dora find the yellow boots for her monkey's feet?
As Christmas rapidly approaches, I tumble into another page
Buried in tinsel, candy canes, and cards up to my rib cage.
I wade through paper snowflakes, ornaments, and lights,
In the maze of commercialism, there are no silent nights,
Early bird specials, reindeer horns, jingle bells and holly,
Giant inflatable snow globes, plastics santas who look jolly,
Barbie cars, spiderman, and Cinderellas's castle,
Crinkled brows and turned-down mouths tighten with the hastle,
Carols blare, car horns honk, children whine for toys,
Somewhere in the chaos is a tiny baby boy.
Lord, help me find the manger scene, the shepherds, and Bethlehem star
Remind us again of what it was that made us who we are.

Just in Time

"Up on your feet! Take a deep breath! Maybe there's life in you yet. But I wouldn't know it by looking at your busywork; nothing of God's work has been completed. Your condition is desperate. Think of the gift you once had in your hands, the Message you heard with your ears - grasp it again and turn back to God. "If you pull the covers back over your head and sleep on, oblivious to God, I'll return when you least expect it, break into your life like a thief in the night." Revelation 3: 2-3

Every year, teachers wonder why we chose this profession-why we volunteered to be ignored, told off, and buried in a mountain of papers to grade, standards to use, and new policies to remember. Usually Christmas break is a good reminder, but this year, for me, it was a letter- a letter that helped me "pull down the covers" and begin again renewed! Here are some highlights:

"Baker,

Out of all the teachers I've encountered, you're so real. I'm pretty sure the way you are at school is the way you are at home--fun, outgoing, caring, honest . . . you're the same bright person everywhere you go, qualities found in Jesus . . . The main reason I will remember you is because Jesus dwells in your heart, and it comes across in ALL areas of your life. Man, I hope God blesses you like you bless others. I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
God Bless,
Josh
P.S. Look up my life verse-Joshua 1:5"

I did:
"No one will will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you."

I just love it when I learn more from my students than they do from me! Thank you Lord, for students like Josh. Thank You for all my students, even the ones that fall asleep, talk when I'm talking, and throw paper at eachother in the middle of a test. They're still your babies and I have the privilege of caring for them for a while--even if it is only ninety minutes every other day. Help me to make those ninety minutes a reflection of the love of Christ. Thanks, Josh, for the reminder to get back to work--the work of God, that is. And thanks for reminding me of the true reason for the season.

Sunday School Lessons are easier when you're 5

"A kindhearted woman gains respect."
Proverbs 11:16a

When I was five, I went to Sunday School,
They said "Do what the lifeguard says at the swimming pool.
Listen to your teachers, and do as you are told,
Always listen to your parents or anyone who's old.
Be good, little girls and boys and make Jesus proud.
Don't make a fuss, and try not to be too loud.
When you get bigger, you'll need to listen to your boss,
And follow the law, watching street signs before you cross."
But then you grow up, and they tell you "no prayer in school",
You can't say "Merry Christmas" but you can say "April Fools"!
Now I sit in my boss's office for a yearly evaluation,
And he says "You just can't have success without some aggression!"
He thinks I'm too soft on them and that I care too much
But it seems to me he cares more about ID's and rules and such.
I want to be a good, little girl and smile and be polite.
But I also want to be like Jesus and stand up for what is right.
I want to be respectful and do as I am told,
But I love these kids too much to yell and scream and scold.
After all, most of them hear plenty of yelling at night.
Anger is a close companion in their world of fight or flight.
But love is something that some of them seldom get to see
And forgiveness and second chances are rare like integrity.
Lord, help me find a balance between "employee" and servant of God,
But even if I get in trouble, I will gladly face the firing squad.
When I think of all the sacrifices of the saints if old,
How Daniel, Joseph, Esther, and Paul refused to do as they were told,
I understand the gift I've been given and the opportunity
To prove my love for You like You did for me.

Happy Birthday

(to the tune of the birthday song)
Happy birthday to you,
You're no longer two,
I wish you were still a baby,
But I'm happy you grew.

When "X" isn't in its spot

"Because men often feel left-handed romantically, they are incredibly sensitive to criticism or teasing. One man said flatly 'You tease me about not quite getting the candle-lit dinner right, that's it--it'll be five years before I try it again.'"-Shaunti Feldhahn, For Women Only

"Many suggest that married couples need to schedule their quality time by going on 'dates'. Then the date is ok- but somehow we're just too tired to have a great time. But the unscheduled reminiscing . . the spontaneous discussion about life . . . the conversations about our future together . . these draw us closer together." James R. Wilkes, Family By Design

There once was a sweet husband
With a lightbulb above his head!
"I'll take her out on a date!
Then she'll be happy instead!"
So he called for a babysitter.
All the arrangements were made
Until he told his wife the plan
Then all the excuses were made.
"We don't need to go to a concert!
We don't need to spend any money!
I just like being with you!
Let's do something else, honey!"
He blinked his eyes and stuttered
Befuddled by this new plan.
He thought she would be flattered
But she just complained to this poor man.
So the babysitter came
And they decided on a bookstore.
But there was no where to sit!
They didn't want to read on the floor!
So around the town they traveled
Looking for something to do.
They tried to think of something
But they always disagreed, these two!
Without ever deciding
Time was up! Their date was done!
They headed home to pay the babysitter
Without ever having any fun!
The man felt discouraged
And wanted to give up.
He cried "Maybe we're too old
For this romantic stuff!"
But the next day he kissed his wife
And told her he was sorry.
He knew you don't always see a lion
On your first safari!
So by doing the dishes and listening,
He finally won her heart.
He knows it may not work tomorrow,
But at least he has a place to start . . .

Walking Dictionary

"So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover's life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God." Philippians 1:9-11

"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get--only what you are expecting to give--which is everything." Katherine Hepburn

"Hubands are like fires. They go out if unattended." Zsa Zsa Gabor

Ok, so Zsa Zsa's not the greatest role model, but she has a point. I can see his flame dwindling. And after watching my parents end their 31 year marriage, I run to You for the definition of a healthy marriage. Like a scheduled checkup for someone who has just lost a friend to some unexpected disease-- I want to do things right and be prepared for anything.

Lauren is almost three now. She is like this sensory sponge--making conclusions about aspects of life from my actions. I'm her walking dictionary --along with fairy tales and her favorite disney princess movies and old musicals. She has begun to read to us now--ending each book with "happily every after. the end." But we, Cody and I, are defining "happily ever after" for her every day, every moment, even when I'm tired, even when "it's been a rough day".

But, Lord, I don't want to rebuild our love for her sake alone. I want him to be happy, to feel honored, respected, admired, fulfilled--empowered. Most of all, I want to honor You. I want the girls in my class to know the life of a Christian women is full of love, romance, joy, adventure. After all, that is Your will for all of us-- life of joy and purpose lived for You. A walking dictionary of Your love--your "happily ever after" redefined by a baby in a stable who became a man on a cross.